Should I really be this concerned?

[SlightConcern]

Hi, I am a female, age 16. I have received unprotected oral sex, and have given protected oral sex (although the condom could have been put on improperly). My partner and I are each other's firsts. After he gave me unprotected oral sex, I got concerned and got the both of us to be tested. His urine and blood got tested, and after two weeks we found out he was negative. I also got my urine tested, but not blood(I did today however) which my urine sample was also negative. When I asked what they tested for, they tested for HIV, syphilis(from blood) gonorrhea, and chlamydia(from urine). But should I be concerned that they didn't test for other STIs? Or was it that because that we are each other's firsts that the risk would be unlikely? What STI risks could I get from my parents that I should get tested for? I unfortunately forgot to tell the lady who was helping me that I gave my boyfriend oral sex, but does that change what they would have tested for? Should I go back to confirm with them and ask them these questions?

[Ashleah]

Hi SlightConcern,

It is perfectly normal (and a good thing) to have some concern about protecting yourself and your partner so long as that has not started to interfere with the way that you function daily or starts to consume your thoughts.

If you did not request specific test then your doctor evaluates your risk to determine what test they think you should receive. I can't be sure what decision your provider would have made about additional testing but using condoms when preforming oral does reduce the risk of STI transmitted through bodily fluids (Dental dam provides better protections against STIs spread through skin to skin contact since they cover more of the genital area). If it would make you feel more comfortable to be screened for other STI's, go for it.

(P.S. have you or your partner had a chance to look into dental dams? Would you like more info?)

To answer your other questions...
STI's are not only transmitted sexually so there can be some risk for people who have not engaged in sexual contact, especially with herpes.
HIV and herpes can be passed from mothers to infants (doctors do things to reduce this risk however) and it is possible to get herpes from family members through non-sexual contact at any point of time (that is if they have it of course). If your mother had prenatal care while pregnant with you, more than likely her providers would have tested for STIs that she could have passed to you and they would have put into place a plan to reduce that risk. As Heather said, you and your mother would not have stayed well this long with HIV without treatment and individuals with herpes usually have visible cold sores.

Here are a couple articles that you might be interested in. The 1st is to help evaluate risk for STI's (when used without protection) and the second is an overview of safe sex practices including information on dental dams!

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/bodie ... _from_that
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/bodie ... _sex_howto

I see from your previous post that you have a lot of concerns about STIs? You also seem to apply the advice that you have gotten which is great! Way to be active in your sexual health. Have you been experiencing a lot of anxiety around sexual activity?

[SlightConcern]

I have definitely been experiencing a lot of anxiety towards STIs, and honestly I wish I wasn't so concerned, because my partner and I have to go on repeated trips to the clinic because of my fears. I'm not really quite sure how to get over my fears, and I always think about the what ifs? Even if they are highly unlikely. Last night I thought about the chance of getting HIV while getting my blood tested but that's extremely unlikely because of the clean practices of doctors, right? However whenever I see a youth clinic doctor, I tend to feel a lot better, but then realize I have more questions and concerns when I get home. (Unfortunately the clinic is only open on two days of the week). Do you think I should go back to the clinic to tell them about the oral sex I gave to my boyfriend? How do I stop being so anxious about STIs? Should I be concerned about the risk of other STIs, even though my partner and I are each other's firsts and he has tested negative for HIV, syphilis, gonorrhea, and chlamydia? Thank you so much for the help and advice! The people at the Scarleteam really are informative and helpful! I will probably return to youth clinic again on Thursday to confirm some more things about STIs.

[SlightConcern]

I forgot to mention but I do feel some anxiety towards sexual activity, but after going to the youth clinic and getting advice from scarleteen, I'm sure I can make safer decisions when engaging in sexual activities. At this point the only thing holding me back is my fears with STIs, because they really do scare me.

[Sam W]

Hi slightconcern,

One thing that might help is to examine if there are other things around sex that might be contributing to your worries. For instance, some people believe that they will receive some type of "punishment" (either pregnancy or STIs) if they have sex. So some times our anxiety about one thing when it comes to sex may be tied to other, deeper beliefs that are somewhere in our head.

I do want to check, do find yourself feeling these kinds of worries about things that are not sex related?

[SlightConcern]

Honestly, no I don't have anxiety as serious as this with anything else. I'm not exactly sure why, but it my be because of how I've been raised at home, seeing as sex seems to be an extremely awkward subject my parents like to dodge. Perhaps that's why? I also want to make sure that both my partner and my health are in tip top shape.

[Ashleah]

Hey again,

The way that our parents do (or don't approach) sexuality can definitely have an impact on the way we feel about this things. Do you want to talk to them more? If so, would you like some help navigating that conversation?

It seems like getting information helps you out. Have you checked out the main site and the links I provided earlier? There are tons of articles on STIs as well as protecting yourself/partner. Having the information and knowing exactly how these things occur and can be prevented can ease your mind.

[Sam W]

When it comes down to it, you are the best person to work out and know what might be causing these thoughts (although, with the level of worry they seem to be causing you, talking about them with a mental healthcare professional may also help you parse what's going on).

Too, I think it can be helpful to learn how to reassure yourself about things rather than need to check back with the clinic. That could mean that you find a few resources you trust (either online or books) to answer your questions, or it could mean that when these thoughts turn up you focus on what you do know (your partner's status, your test results, etc) rather than on the extreme what ifs. It can also help to, in place of the what ifs, think about the steps you are taking (or could take) to prevent the thing you are afraid of from occurring, such as making sure to use barriers when engaging in sex. Does that make sense?