Masturbation affecting my sex life?

[AllyChaseBofa]

While I was younger I had a strict no masturbation policy. When I started having sex I noticed that unlike most men my foreskin was not very elastic and never fully retracted over the glans. However, that didn’t stop me from enjoying sex unless I wore a condom and in this case it became a lot more difficult. As I became older, sex became more sporadic and I started masturbating. Lately I was having sex with a date with a condom on and I realized that I was not hitting any of the my sensitive spots which I had gotten used to hitting due to masturbation. During my last two dates both women were gorgeous and it took almost 45 - 55 mins for me to come. I could see that my dates were frustrated. This never happened to me before. Also my penis was no longer staying hard. Are there any OTC pills I can take to keep my penis hard . Should I try some realistic flesh toy that closely mimics a vagina while masturbating if I do so that it hits the real sensitive spots on my penis rather than the ones that I do when I jerk off with my hand? I was wondering what do I do? Should I stop masturbating? Should I explain this clearly to my dates that I have this issue with a condom? Should I go to the doctor?

[Jacob]

Hi there,

Foreskins can be like that sometimes! I'd say retracting the foreskin (as is already recommended) when putting on the condom is going to reveal just as much sensitive skin as manual masturbation, so if you're not already, you could certainly start putting condoms on that way, as well as using lube. You can read more about proper condom use here: Condom Basics: A User's Manual.

It also sounds like your level of stimulation/arousal from this one type of sex has changed over time, which is very common. I'd say you should feel free to try all the things you suggested, we can't say what will work for you.

Another thing to think about is incorporating whatever is working for you in masturbation with a partner, than can involve mutual masturbation or just adjusting your positions. However this and all your other options for experimentation are going to require communication with your partners. That sort of communication is needed not just to better understand what might be more pleasurable for you, but also in better understanding what is pleasurable for your partner.

Unfortunately we can't recommend any medications here, so indeed an appointment with your doctor would be the ideal place to discuss what might work for you.