I don’t feel pleasure during penetration

[Moni]

Hi guys,
I’m a 22 y/o female, I have been sexually active with partners since 18 but I have been sexually active with myself since maybe 13. From 13-20 I have only had orgasms from clitoral stimulation with watching videos. Whenever I tried to penetrate myself there was no real pleasure sensation just the knowing of something being in there. When I started having intercourse I noticed it was the same just knowing that there is something in me, but I also noticed I was not able to orgasm through clitoral stimulation either with a man so all around having sex with a man seems only for his pleasure. Around 20 I decided to take a break from the videos because I figured I was making myself conditioned to only being able to orgasm to them. So after a while of trying I was able to make myself orgasm without video only through clitoral stimulation still, penetration felt the same. I have a desire to feel pleasure for penetration and the thought of it will make me horny then there’s nothing during. I am now 22 and I have been able to orgasm orally with someone else twice but the kicker is I had to think about sexual videos to get there. Did I fuck myself up when I was younger with always watching videos??? And how can I feel pleasure during penetration?

[CaitlinEve]

Hi Moni, welcome to Scarleteen!

What you describe is not unusual; though everybody is different, a lot of people don't experience pleasure from penetration and/or prefer clitoral stimulation for pleasure. Some people can't orgasm at all without the clitoris being involved and that's normal too! I want to make it clear; this is not your fault! You did not 'fuck yourself up' in any way; even if you were having daily penetrative sex, the vagina is a very flexible and 'forgiving' sexual organ.

I do want to ask some clarifying questions so we know how best to help and provide resources; are you experiencing any discomfort or pain with penetration, or just the absence of pleasure/sensation in general? For the time being, here's an advice column related to your concern that you may find helpful; there are also other related links inside the article you may want to check out!