Asking for Help

[BlueRed]

Hello. I was wondering if I could ask a question about something. Sometimes when my relationship gets really overwhelming I find that I ask a close friend for help. Recently I asked a really big question, and they were supportive of me which was helpful. But I wonder if I’m wrong to be doing this. The relationship, good and bad, is between my partner and I. I feel as if maybe I’ve overstepped a boundary by telling other people things and, looking for advice. Am I wrong to be sharing? I would understand if I am.

[Ro S]

Hi there BlueRed!

Thanks so much for your question. I think that oftentimes it is actually a very healthy practice to reach out to people who are not involved in our relationships for advice or guidance. Sometimes it can be really overwhelming to only have your partner to talk to about certain things that arise in the relationship, especially if they're big questions or complex topics. If anything, sometimes reaching out to others can give you insight into new perspectives and help to also remove some of the heaviness that comes from discussing big topics only with your partner. Does this make sense?

As far as you feeling like you've overstepped a boundary, do you feel like your partner would appreciate you telling them that you're wanting to take some time to talk to others and think about what's come up for you on your own? Maybe it's not necessarily overstepping a boundary by reaching out to others, but perhaps you could ease your feelings by letting your partner know that you're discussing your relationship with others. How does this sound to you?

[BlueRed]

Thank you for the response. What you said did make sense, I believe I understand it. I suppose it is a bit unrealistic to believe I won’t share anything. I think it could help if I mentioned it.

[Andy]

Hi, I’m glad Ro’s answer was helpful!

Let us know if there is anything else we can help you with.