Scarleteen

Hi I’m a teen who’s trying to masturbate and I’ve tried with my shower head, I tried three times and I’m not exactly perfectly familiar with all the parts of my body I’m still learning and I get some pleasure through the shower head and during my most recent attempt I felt some tension in my stomach but it was like good and my breathing quickened just a little and then it went away, I can’t figure out what I’m doing wrong and how to do it correctly and if I’m even pointing it correctly on my clit

Hey there Imjsagirl, and welcome to the boards

I hear you that you’re still getting familiar with your anatomy while you masturbate. Before launching into masturbation and pleasure, I want to send you this article we have on our website on sexual anatomy, With Pleasure: A Whole View Of Sexual Anatomy for Every Body. This article can help orient you to the parts you might interact with when you masturbate, including the clitoris. This article might be helpful for anatomy, too.

Onto masturbation! I hear you that, while you can feel some pleasure with the shower head, it is short-lasting. I want to say first, it’s okay if masturbation isn’t immediately mind-blowing. It can certainly take time and some pleasure-driven exploration to figure out what feels the best for you. You’re also not alone in the feeling like something’s wrong when it doesn’t feel amazing — we get questions of this nature often and you’re not alone, but truly there’s not a “wrong” way to masturbate. Folks masturbate in a variety of ways, engaging different parts of their anatomy in different ways. But when it doesn’t feel good, that can be a feeling for you to listen to so you can guide yourself towards the touches that do feel good. Know what I mean?

In terms of how to do it “correctly,” there’s not one specific way, because there’s so many ways that folks masturbate. That does present ample opportunity for you to explore, though! I think a great way to find out what sort of touches feel good for you is to continue trying different types of touches and follow what feels good. For example, you mentioned using your shower head — one possible way of exploring could be adjusting the angle, intensity, or water temperature (within a safe range). Equally important as trying things differently, though, is to “set the scene,” making sure you feel safe, comfortable, relaxed, aroused, and lubricated before you start masturbating, and to approach masturbation without expectation of orgasm. How does that all sound to you to start?

Hi I js realized my reply never sent, but it’s even that it was short lived like I felt the tension but I think my hand moved or something I don’t know and I feel like even when I’m turned on and wet and what not and that I get into the shower it somehow goes away? I don’t know how to explain it

It can be kind of hard to explain exactly what it feels like, I know what you mean! To get a better idea, could you say a little about what’s going on in your headspace when the feeling goes away? What sort of thoughts are coming up? I ask because it can be easy for feelings of arousal to go away when there’s distractions, either in the environment or in the form of distracting negative thoughts.

Hmm well today it was like oh yeah I got the spot and then like I heard something and I was like distracted for a second and then I just returned my attention. Like it feel good but I can’t orgasm

Noticing something feels good is a really good step I would say!

Paradoxically, when we are really trying to experience an orgasm, it might actually reaching it way harder. And even though orgasms can feel really good, they are still a really small part of the time spent masturbating so focusing solely on them might rob us of most of the enjoyment. Learning what makes us feel good is often a lifelong experience and you are still on the beginning of it, so be patient with yourself. I also think this advice column might be a helpful read for you:

When the Big O is a No-Show