Scarleteen

Hi everyone,

One of my friend groups is considering a sleepover. It has four people: me, A, a close friend and who I also have a strong crush on, B, a less close friend who I feel totally platonic towards, and C, the partner of B who I feel essentially platonic towards (I might have a bit of a crush, but it doesn’t feel relevant). A knows about my crush on them and doesn’t share the feelings, and seems unbothered by it.
I feel generally well aware (if not necessarily super confident at) of how to deal with consent and boundaries around crushes and in general, but this would be my first sleepover, and with a person I have a crush on no less. I haven’t yet talked to A, B, or C about their boundaries about sleepovers because we just started planning, but I plan on talking about it.

I’m aware of the apparent popular media trope of funny business with crushes during sleepovers, but that’s never seemed like a good idea to me (even if the gay/bi parts of me like the sound of it), and especially not given that A doesn’t have a crush on me.

I’m curious whether my fellow Scarleteeners have any questions or ideas for me about this.

Thanks everyone,
- AQ

PS: If it wasn’t clear, I don’t know C particularly well — I don’t mean to reduce them to only being the partner of B.

Hi AQ,

I like the idea of asking your friends about their boundaries before the sleepover. Do B and C know about your situation with A? If they only know about your crush and not about how A feels, that might lend itself to some funny business. You might consider updating them before the sleepover, just to avoid any misunderstandings.

Other than that… while you're planning, you could make sure to cover everyone's preferences around activities, sleeping arrangements, and food.