Can I get pregnant from this???

[Ray_yay]

Hello. Im 16, and I've had non-penetrative sex with my boyfriend around 3 weeks ago. I basically just jerked him off (I'm really bad at it, so he didnt ejaculate. But there was some precum) then I went to wash my hands, and he fingered me afterwards. This was like 11 days before i had my ovulation day btw. The thing is, my period should've started like 2 days ago already, I'm feeling period-like cramps, and i feel like im bleeding, but theres no blood. And my periods are rarely ever late. Is there any chance there could have been some sperm left on my hands after I washed them? Could that sperm still be alive enough to get me pregnant when I touched my vagina to show my boyfriend how to finger me? Is there even sperm in precum?

I'm very sorry for such a stupid question. I'm just really uneducated in this, I'm freaking out and I need answers. And google certainly isn't helping with that.

[Latha]

Hi Ray_yay, welcome to the boards! And you don't need to apologize — this isn't a stupid question, this is exactly what we are here for.

I would not worry about pregnancy in your situation. For pregnancy to occur, semen needs to have direct contact with the vulva, which didn't happen here. This is because sperm cells are pretty delicate — they can't survive being transferred between multiple surfaces, nor would they stay on your hands after being washed. Additionally, there usually isn't sperm in pre-ejaculate anyway — that only happens when a person has ejaculated recently and hasn't urinated afterwards. It isn't particularly unusual for there to be some variation in when your period arrives. You are already having symptoms, so you will probably get it soon.

We have a lot of great resources that can help you get more informed about this :

• Who's Afraid of Sperm Cells?

• Can I Get Pregnant, or Get or Pass On an STI From That?

• On the Rag: A Guide to Menstruation

Let us know if you have any more questions!

P.S. Since you already know that you can show a partner how to do things, you could try that with your boyfriend by asking him how he likes to be touched. You don't have to worry about being bad at these things. Learning about what makes a partner feel good is always a process, and you'll get better with experience.

[Ray_yay]

Alright, thank you so much. You've eased my worries a bit there (the one thing that will fully ease them is probably just my period finally starting haha).
I've read somewhere that stress can delay the time of ovulation, and that then also delays the time period actually starts. Is that true? Could my period be a tiny bit late just because I'm constantly stressing out about it?

[KierC]

Hi Ray,

I hear you there, getting your period can be quite relieving when you’re anxious about pregnancy risk. Also, you are correct about stress and the menstrual cycle. Prolonged stress can raise cortisol levels, and high levels of cortisol can disrupt the hormones involved in ovulation and menstruation which can delay your period slightly. The day your period starts can also vary by about 3-4 days naturally without being considered a “late” period, so it is likely that you could still get your period soon and not be late yet.

[Ray_yay]

Hello
Just wanna write a quick update: I got my period today!!!
Thank you all so much for being here for me when I was freaking out lol
I have one more question: do you think it would be a good idea to get on the birth control pill to make myself worry less about this stuff in the future? I really wanna get on the pill (both because of this and because i tend to have really painful periods), but as a trans guy who's completely pre-transition, it kind of scares me. I know that the pill can have estrogen in it, and that's the complete opposite of what I want to take. I fear that it could enhance my feminine features. And I really don't want that

[CaitlinEve]

Hey Ray,

I'm so glad to hear that your period has come!

We won't lie and say that it's 100% guaranteed that birth control will not affect your features or body. That being said, there are A LOT of trans individuals on contraceptives. This will mostly be a personal decision for you; do the pros of taking birth control pills outweigh the cons for you? There are non-hormonal types of birth control as well that you may want to check out; such as multiple barrier methods (condoms, diaphragm) and spermicide or more 'internal' methods like the copper IUD. If that's an option, I would discuss this with a doctor as they would know your history and medical information better than we would.