Scarleteen

Hallo. 16M (ftm) stealth towards parents. Friends know. Single and can’t date.

My problem is I have a pretty high sex drive, and I really need something more than just my own fingers, it’s gotten increasingly worse as time passes, I’m basically masturbating daily. And it does nothing. I’ve considered toys but have no idea how to procure one without setting off the alarm of my catholic parents. Is there a healthier way to deal with this? And yes I’ve tried distracting, preventing, and even just outright forcing myself to stay in public spaces— but it always comes back.

Dunno if this is the right place to ask but I dont got nowhere else to talk about stuff like this. I kinda hate myself for being so horny all the time. Send help.

Hi ANONFEELSORRY, welcome to the boards!

There's nothing really wrong with masturbating daily, many folks do it as a daily self care thing even, but it becomes a problem when it's negatively affecting your life - for example, if you can't study because it's all you're doing. So if you can do it daily in a healthy way (privately, and when it's not taking time away from important things like school and sleep), that's okay and it's not uncommon at your age. Is that the case, or is it actually interfering with your daily life?

I also hear you that it can be super uncomfortable to be aroused often and feeling the need to masturbate. The thing is, we're going to get horny at times when we can't do anything about it (which is really important to note for consent too). It could be helpful to tell yourself something like "I feel so horny right now, but it's not the time to explore. Tabling these feelings is important, and I will have a better time and place later to masturbate." Basically acknowledge how you're feeling (rather than distracting from it or avoiding it), and remind yourself that you can get to it later and it's not as urgent as it feels right now. How would these little self-talk scripts help?