Scarleteen

Hiya! I've wanted HRT for the past few years, and it's been something I've had to do from the bottom of my soul. The only main issue being financially related. It's around $200 in order to even get STARTED with the process (including therapy that takes insurance), and.. I have spent the past 4 years applying to jobs that haven't worked out for me. One interview. I don't have the finances to cover all of this, and outside of online findom, I have no idea how I'd manage to pay for it. This really is the only way I can imagine making ANY real progress.

I am however, not really looking forward to it. I don't really want to- it doesn't appeal. I'm uncomfortable and while I would be playing a character, it's not my sort of space. I don't want to, really, it's just what i have to do. Is that a sign that I shouldn't do it? because the benefits of HRT are incredibly tempting for me, and i don't know how long I'll be forced to wait without it. Like being pragmatic this is my primary option right now.

I dunno. Am I SUPPOSED to have mixed feelings on it? Are people supposed to be enthusiastic about it? Or is it just that, another job you have to do to get by?

Hi Bowler, nice to see back!

First off, I’m sorry to hear you find yourself in this place where you feel like you have to consider doing something you don’t want to in order to get something you need.
I don’t think there is a specific way you are "supposed" to feel about this, people have all sorts of feelings about and all sorts of reasons for starting with sex work. However, the way I think about all sexual activities, including those involving just us, is that an enthusiastic informed consent is crucial, and we should be able to give this consent to ourselves. And from the sounds of it it seems like you really don’t want to do this kind of work.

Have you considered some kinds of financial support/funding? For example this organisation provides some if you would like to check it out: https://www.pointofpride.org/hrt-access-fund

Also, if you are comfortable sharing with us more about your current financial, living and healthcare situation, or what kind of job you would like to get. We might be able to brainstorm some more strategies with you.

Lastly, I’m not from the US so I don’t know much about the trans healthcare system there, but I will let the rest of our team know about your post and maybe they will have more ideas or resources!

Bowler, I also want to say that Scarleteen sometimes over the years has given micro-grants to our users in need -- like for temporary shelter, for what an abortion fund wouldn't cover, etc. This certainly would be within the arena of things we'd like to help with, so if you email us (feedbackATscarleteen.com), we could absolutely at least get you a micro grant of that $200 to help get you started, if you like.