Cant please myself
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Mai9686
- newbie
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Fri Feb 14, 2025 6:46 am
- Age: 28
- Awesomeness Quotient: Multitasking
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: She
- Sexual identity: Straight
- Location: United Kingdom
Cant please myself
So im 28 years old, when I try to masturbate i never can enjoy it or actually finish the job I get turned off. I have tried using toys and lube ect but I cant get to the point where I'm enjoying my self I have tried watching porn but I will start to enjoy it but than I get cut off I don't know why, on the other hand if my partner will do it for me I get really aroused and he manages to get me from a to z he has tried with me to help me and has told me plenty of times I need to relax and I listen to him but even than I still needed his help to get me to the z point I can't switch off when I'm trying to do it. I don't know if its because when I was 13 I got sexually abused but im sure by this age I should have just be able to get on with it as I really need help on this should I go see a doctor ?
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aarija
- scarleteen staff/volunteer
- Posts: 56
- Joined: Tue May 23, 2023 10:03 am
- Age: 29
- Awesomeness Quotient: dreamy eyes
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: they/them, he/him
- Sexual identity: queer
- Location: chicago
Re: Cant please myself
Hey Mai9686, welcome to the boards,
It can be very frustrating when our body isn't responding the way we want it to. From what you've shared, it seems like you're putting pressure on yourself to reach an orgasm during masturbation. Often, that pressure can be the thing creating a block in our mind or body. A traumatic event or history of abuse can also be contributing to this, no matter how long ago it took place. Trauma is stored in the body and it can take several years for us to process and heal from it.
I encourage you to place less focus on building up to an orgasm, and try to stay present with the physical sensations you feel while masturbating. I also recommend reading our article on the matter.
Going Solo: The Basics of Masturbation
Let's see if any of the information here is helpful to you and we can move forward from there. How does that sound?
It can be very frustrating when our body isn't responding the way we want it to. From what you've shared, it seems like you're putting pressure on yourself to reach an orgasm during masturbation. Often, that pressure can be the thing creating a block in our mind or body. A traumatic event or history of abuse can also be contributing to this, no matter how long ago it took place. Trauma is stored in the body and it can take several years for us to process and heal from it.
I encourage you to place less focus on building up to an orgasm, and try to stay present with the physical sensations you feel while masturbating. I also recommend reading our article on the matter.
Going Solo: The Basics of Masturbation
Let's see if any of the information here is helpful to you and we can move forward from there. How does that sound?