Scarleteen

Hi there,

Me (F) and my partner (M) have recently started to do more sexual things and to my shock, he's got quite a BIG penis. He's 6.5in at least (we measured) and of decent girth. We're both virgins. I've masturbated since I was 15 (now 20), but never really experienced much penetration, and now I'm fairly worried that when we do get to intercourse, it'll hurt a lot or I won't be able to take it.

Is there any advice you can give for how to handle a large one? And, more importantly, is there anything I can do by myself to prepare beforehand or (in other words) "train" for it? I doubt I'd be able to afford a dildo beforehand and it's not something I particularly want kicking around my room anyway.

(Side note: would he be large sized condoms? And where would we find these - most stores near us only seem to sell regular?)

Hi there, Queen of Crows.

Just for the record, this sounds like a penis that's only a little bigger than average (the average is between around 5 and 6 or so inches). So no, this partner will not likely need larger sized condoms. You also won't have to try and do anything special around it. The vagina is designed to fit an infants head through it, after all: it's a very stretchy tube by design! People's vaginas absolutely can usually do just fine with most people's penises, even penises larger that your partners.

The same things someone and their partner will want to do whatever size penis is involved would be the case for you here. Penis-in-vagina intercourse tends to feel best for people with a vagina when:

• they are very turned on and relaxed before any entry of the penis into the vagina
• they engage in other sexual activities that aren't just about the vagina or vaginal opening that feel good before starting intercourse, and often continue some of them during
• they are using plenty of quality lubricant right from the start and add it as needed throughout
• they are gradual with entry (and for some people, fingers first feels best), going a little at a time only as feels good, rather than rushing
• they don't do anything that hurts and stop if anything does
• they experiment with positions and angles to find what feels best
• they communicate throughout, to be sure everyone is feeling good and stop or make adjustments if anyone isn't

If you do ever have any pain with intercourse (or anything else), all you need to do is stop what you are doing. You can then make some choices from there: you can just not do that activity that day, period (no one is ever obligated to do anything that doesn't feel good or stops feeling good), or you two can try and sort out WHY it hurts and make a change. For instance, it might not feel good because you need more lube, or because you stopped being excited, or because you're too nervous that day, or because your partner is being too fast or rough, or because you need something different added to the mix that feels good, like more direct clitoral stimulation or more kissing.

How does all of that sound? Anything in that list that seems challenging, or that you have questions about?