Scarleteen

...Because what if they don’t want to bottom and I'll have to keep searching again and again? Or worse, find a chaser multiple times? I know it's silly thinking about this at this age but I'm hypersexual and can't get this off my mind.

I'm ftm and I used to search for ftm porn only to find out the majority of it is about getting penetrated, different from mtf that has varying content, and with how much trans men get babied in social media... it just made me more insecure. Made me wonder if anyone would want a ftm top when the real deal's right there.

I really hope I don't have to bottom in the future or something. Or just fall in love with a girl, but I'm leaning more to guys so it's harder. Literally broke up with my ex gf because I was the one that lost feelings back then. This is embarrassing

Hi yoyoyo, welcome to the boards!
It's not silly or embarrassing to try and find someone whose desires align with your own. In fact, it's great that you have a clear sense of what you want - it allows you to communicate your desires with the people you're dating early on.

The thing is, dating is a bit of a searching game, and it's not uncommon to date multiple people before finding someone who you want to build a deeper relationship with. The fact that you have a sense of what you want means you can be upfront with people early on, giving both of you a chance to determine whether this relationship is right for you.

Unfortunately, social media and stigma do make dating more difficult for trans people and many trans people have to deal with chasers or work to dispel the common stereotypes that society has put on them. I think the best thing you can do for yourself is set some personal boundaries for your dating life;
- What are you absolutely not willing to do when dating someone?
- What are you open to doing after getting to know someone a little better?
- How do you want to be seen and held by the person you're dating?

Finding the answers to these questions doesn't mean you won't encounter people you don't want to date. But having these boundaries will help you figure out, sooner rather than later, whether you should pursue this relationship further. I'm going to link an article at the bottom which you may find helpful in setting boundaries as well.

I think it's also important to remember that as we grow, our desires and needs (sexual, emotional, physical etc) will evolve or change completely - therefore, it's also fairly common to have different kinds of partners at different stages of life. I say this because we're often socialized to find one person early on and commit to being with them our entire life. That's a lot of pressure to put on ourselves while dating!

I'll stop here for now - how is this landing with you?


Supermodel: Creating & Nurturing Your Own Best Relationship Models