Scarleteen

(the original thread)

I so agree, thank u so much for making this post, I actually feel seen.

I really don’t know what to do. Everytime my boyfriend stimulates my clitoris, it feels so overwhelming and intense after about 5 seconds that I can’t take it anymore. It gets way too intense but it’s not a good intense, it’s bad. Sometimes I suddenly get the need while he’s doing that for him to put his fingers in, so he would and then after a minute it would feel too intense that I can’t take it anymore. I would feel like I have to piss but apparently this means you’re close to orgasm, but it’s so uncomfortable that I can’t do anything, It’s really not a nice feeling. We’ve tried clit stimulation over my clothes and that still feels too intense.

With dry humping, It doesn’t stimulate my clit but the idea of it just feels nice.

With penetration, the idea of it going “in and out” is nice but it just feels like it’s happening and it’s like “okay that’s happening it’s whatever”.

I’ve also never masturbated by myself, and don’t want to, so that wouldn’t be an option, but that still wouldn’t solve my issue. I want to feel some sort of nice pleasure but I just can’t and it’s annoying me. Even when I try and relax, it doesn’t work and it gets too intense and overwhelming.

Does anyone have any tips or anything I can do because my boyfriend feels like he’s doing something wrong, when I just think that I’m the problem.

Hi Bubble!

I split your topic from the original thread because that ones over a year old and you have your own questions! But I'm really happy that you felt seen and could relate to what was posted there!

I'm sorry to hear about the the trouble you're having though! It sounds like you've tried a few things... I'd say that it's really good you've recognised what feels uncomfortable and not nice. I don't think there's any reason to think that the "need to pee" feeling is a good thing, if for you it isn't, so I'd continue to listen to yourself with that and as with all the things that have felt bad, I'd avoid it.

Maybe the places to explore more are the ones that feel more 'neutral'? I also wonder if going slower and longer with the stuff that's leading to the "too intense" feeling could keep you from feeling overwhelmed while trying to find a gentler medium?

All of these however are going to be things that you try for yourself, with or without your partner.

I do know that masturbation is a way that many people learn more about what feels good for them, so I'm interested in why for you you think it wouldn't help? Is there anything particular about the idea of masturbation that turns you off or is it just more of a general preference?