I don't know if I'm bisexual,gay or straight

[stevelynch24]

I'm 17,and i don't know if I'm bisexual,gay or straight.Since i was 13-14 i tried some weird things,for example fingering my bu**,tried to put other stuff inside my bu**,even to wore my sisters sexy thongs(underwears).I masturbate with gay,bi,shemale,strapon porn,and lately I dreamed that I was doing a b***job (two times).I am fully atracted by girls,and i watch normal porn.I am also attracted by guys only sexualy (i mean i only want to have sex with 'em,i don't want to kiss them or have a relationship).With girls i want a sexual and a normal relationship.I never had a relationship with girl,i was feared of rejection.Please help me!(sorry if there are mistakes i'm not from us/england)

[Heather]

I wish I knew Greek! (In general, but it'd also obviously be helpful today.)

Here is the thing: our sexual orientation is about who, with real people, we feel emotionally and sexually drawn to (and since sexuality involves emotions, if there is sexual attraction, there is some kind of emotional attraction as a given).

What we do with masturbation per activities doesn't have anything to do with that. And what people enjoy in porn often is not reflective of what they want and like in real life.

I don't know what you mean by a "normal" relationship, but what kinds of relationships we want with which gender of people isn't the same for people of any given orientation. So, that, too, doesn't tell us much.

What DOES tell us something is how you find you feel, over time, when it comes to what people, in real life, you have sexual or romantic feelings for.

But right now, it sounds like you are questioning, and that is an okay place to hang out for a while. If you want a word to identify with, Questioning can be a good one.

[stevelynch24]

Thank you very much for replying to me!(i swear,greek is definetly one of the most beautiful languages,but hard to learn!)
To the point,saying a "normal" relationship,i mean a relationship between a man and a woman.
In real life,i do not watch boys romantic(for example,whoaa look at that awesome guy,what a body!,or "i want to kiss him so bad!" etc).I only have sexual imagimations...(also with girls).I feel more comfortable with my dude-friends talking about girls or the super bowl game or the ass that just passed.I also have girl-friends (few) and i see them "dirty" but by politness,i can not tell them "i wanna f*** you"...you think that the fact i didn't have any relationship is a problem?let me know.thank you!

[Heather]

I know it is. Maybe I can file this one away for when I retire and need things to do I have wanted to do.

I'd suggest you consider that relationships between men and women are no more or less normal than those between people of the same gender or sex. Really: they're all just relationships, and love is just love; lust is just lust. It's just as healthy and "normal" when any of that is part of someone's life who is homosexual, bisexual or otherwise queer as it is for people who are heterosexual.

It sounds to me like this is just one of those things where you'll just need to give it all some time, and then, as you do start actively exploring sexual and romantic relationships, observe your own wants and choices and THEN see how you feel about orientation. Often, it's just not one of those things people can really start to get a sense of until they start having some life experience to consider. And that's okay: it's nothing anyone ever needs to know, period, nor has to have an answer for at any given time.

[stevelynch24]

Thank you so much,you were really helpfull!
In Greece we say "γνώθει σ'αυτόν" which is translated as "know who you are and what you want",which perfectly "fits" to my case.
Hope to answer me to my future posts!
Goodnight! (22:31 here)

[Heather]

I love that phrase for this, and I agree, so long as it allows you to do that as a process. In other words, like a lot of things, figuring orientation out is a process of usually-gradual discovery, not something most people are at all likely to know right away. But for sure, that's the goal, we just often need to be patient when it comes to the time it takes to find all that out about ourselves.

And you're very welcome!

[stevelynch24]

Basically its "γνώθι σαυτόν"sorry for that mistake!i am not that good with ancient Greek!
Sorry again! :p