Scarleteen

So I have had very irregular periods for many years, and I’ve finally got a gyno appointment lined up. I just have a few concerns, mainly stemming from the fact that I am not supposed to be sexually active in the eyes of my parents, as I am not married and they are religious.

First off, I am 21. If I divulge that I am active in some ways will they report this to my parents/will my parents be able to find out?

Second, if I don’t tell them, will they be able to tell anyway? (I have never been penetrated by a penis, but fingered/had oral)

Third, just general curiosity, how painful is it to have an intravaginal ultrasound? I have only ever put a tampon in once so I am not used to having things inserted and am nervous.

All of you do such amazing work, I appreciate it so much <3

Hi DrThunder!

I'm glad i can help answer these, thank you for you kind words!

I'm also so sorry you're even having to worry about thee things.

1. As a legal adult, over 18, they have no right to pass on your medical information to anyone without your consent, if they did that you could report them for misconduct.
2. They will not be able to tell that you are sexually active from a physical examination, however you can ask them about their confidentiality policies to assess whether you feel safe to give them more information ,and then once you're comfortable with it, it may be a good idea to tell them the ways that you are sexually active so that you can talk more freely with them about your sexual health, as this should be an important part of the care they offer!
3. An intravaginal ultrasound shouldn't to my knowledge, by default, be painful, however I wouldn't be surprised if it was uncomfortable, and different people do have different experiences with insertion, discomfort and pain. It might help ease your nerves to talk to your gyno about your fears around pain so that they can maybe reassure you or help you relax, to reduce the possibility of any pain, if that's a procedure you're scheduled for?