What are the chances?

[indianaggirl]

October 2014 my relationship with my boyfriend ended. It was a mutual break up, because he was going to be moving to Florida. But we decided to still be occasional friends with benefits, when he came back to town. So,in January we meet up and only had sex for a few minutes before he fainted. He wasn't feeling 100% but we wanted to have sex. So here's the questions. I'm on the pill (3months now) and he used a condom. I've never never been late before, so after 7 days I took a pregnancy test and it came back positive. What the heck! Seriously, how is this possible? I was on an antibiotic and he was on cold medicine. But, seriously? I took 2 more test and after the finally positive I made an appointment with my obgyn, because I'm so confused. How could this happen? We were so cautious? Seriously my head is spinning is 50 million directions! Help!

[Ashleah]

Hi indianaggirl,

We can not know the circumstances that led to your pregnancy. I know it's not what you want to hear. But we can help you figure out your next steps, help you sort through your options, and just provide you with some support through this confusing situation. You are already headed in the right direction by scheduling an appointment with your OBGYN.

I know there is a lot on your mind right now. How can we help out? How are you feeling about the results?

[indianaggirl]

Hi! Thanks. I just don't get it. We did everything right. The chances of this happening is so slim, right? How do I even begin to tell him? I don't even know I when I'll see him again. What do I do? I swear, all I do is cry.

[Johanna]

It is hard to speculate in retrospect, as there are many variables. Certain antibiotics can impact the pill's effectivenss, so that may certainly be a factor.

Have you been to see your gynecologist yet to confirm the results of the pregnancy tests? I'd say you'll want to get that confirmation before you worry about talking to your partner, and before we talk about your options.

Do you have a friend or relative who can support you right now? What are you doing to take care of yourself? Maybe this will help: Self-Care a La Carte

[indianaggirl]

Thanks. I just finished up at my family doctor. She checked me out and my test ther also came back positive. I cant get into my Obgyn until Feb 25th. So do I talk to him and say this is the route, I've taken so far and these are the results. I don't want to freak you out but.... I'm doing a lot better today, then I was yesterday. I just laid in bed and ate chocolate and watched friends. I know this guy pretty well and he will do the right thing. What are the steps I need to take? I broke down and told my mom and she was amazing.

[Johanna]

I am glad to hear you've told your mother and she is being suppotive! That is great.

In terms of what steps to take, that depends on what you decide to do. Do you feel like you already know whether you wish to continue the pregnancy? If you're not sure what you want to do, or what your options even are, we can talk you through that.

It also sounds like you know your partner will be supportive of you either way, so now is probably a good time to let him know. There is no one way or 'right' way to have conversations like that, but from your posts here it sounds like you two have a long history and have probably had other difficult conversations, so you can draw on those experiences to know what works and how to approach him.

[indianaggirl]

I was shocked my mother was so supportive. The way she talks about my cousins getting into these situations. Wowza! I was born and currently still a practicing catholic. The only option I can see myself doing is having this baby. My partner is also a practicing catholic. But my only concern is that he's not ready for something like this. But, I do know that he would so the right thing. I'm just still pissed about nothing that we used worked. We had sex once for 10minutes. Seriously, like what are the chances of this happening. Also for years by my Obgyn I was told I would possibly struggle to have a baby. Because I have polysistic ovarian disease.

[Johanna]

Okay, so if you know that you want to continue the pregnancy, your next step is to make that appointment with your gynecologist to get you started with staying healthy during the pregnancy. You'll also want to talk to them about whether and how your PCOS may affect your pregnancy. It does put you at a higher risk for certain complications, so you'll want to be aware of that and be prepared.

As for your partner - it is hard to be ready for an unplanned pregnancy, unfortunately So, yes, this will likely come out of the blue for him and might take some time getting used to. But it sounds like you already have a pretty good handle on what is happening and you do also have your mother on your side, so hopefully even if he needs a moment, you'll be able to deal with it fine. I definitely wish you the best of luck with that conversation!

[simome05]

Is ther a section about telling your partner that your pregnant? Because I dont even know where to begin.. It's just really scary. I've always wanted to be a mom, but I also that I would be married, when it happened.

[Johanna]

Simome05, are you actually Indianaggirl? If so, can you please use only one account? Not only is it against our guidelinees to use two accounts, it is also very confusing for us to keep track of who we are talking to.

[indianaggirl]

That was my old account that got hacked last week. Is their anyway to get rid of it. I don't know why it's now posting from ther.

[Johanna]

Okay, since you have been using the old account and have a history there with us, we would prefer that you keep that. It is easier for us to help users when we can keep track of their histories. And then we'll go ahead and discontinue the new account you made.

[simome05]

Awesome! Thank you and thank you for the advice. I really appreciate it.