My bf has sex with me with I was drunk and out of it and he was sober what do I do?

[Kbuxton19]

My bf and I was at his parent’s house and I drank too much and he was sober. When we got home he carried me into the house because I could barely walk. He undressed me and started kissing my neck before he had sex with me, I was so out of it everything was spinning and I was pretty much asleep.  At this point I didn’t even know how we got home, let alone how I had got naked. When I asked he had said we just got home and I got myself undressed. Before this we had just had an argument because he was mad at me for yelling at him for trying to force himself on to me and this has happened several times the only difference was I was sober. I don’t know what to do

[Heather]

Hi there, Kbuxton. I'm really glad that you found us.

I'm so sorry to say that your boyfriend clearly sexually assaulted you (and engaged specifically in what is legally called alcohol-facilitated sexual assault), and from the sounds of things, he has tried to assault you in the past, too. Sexual assault is always such a massive violation, but all the more so when someone you were close to and trusted does it. No one should have done this to you, and I am so sorry someone did.

The only thing we can tell you to do for your safety and well-being is not to be with this person ever again, at a minimum. They very clearly are not a safe person for you (or potentially anyone) to be around, because they have shown you they will harm you. Can you at least stay away from him and not contact him at all for now?

Moving forward, what do you want to do from here? You have the option to report the assault to a hospital or police, but that is a choice you get to make. I can walk you through what that would look like from start to finish if you want. In the meantime, before you decide what to do, if you haven't yet, don't take a shower. It could wash away important evidence.

At the very least, if you're not on a long-acting form of birth control already, how about accessing emergency contraception today so that you don't have to worry about a pregnancy from this?

For emotional support for you, and maybe help getting that Plan B, is there someone safe you are close to in-person who you could ask for help and support today?