Sex toy

[Laney]

what would be a good sex toy for a teen that has never used a sex toy or had sex and is a male

[Jacob]

Hi Laney,

I've also deleted your follow up posts, it's not OK to bump your threads - Heather has already told you stop these short unnecessary replies. If you don't stop doing this we will have to ban your account.

Regarding sex toys. People are all different (being male or not doesn't matter), so there is no individual sex-toy we could recommend - everyone will enjoy different things!

We would recommend you look out for safety first though, which mostly comes down to...

• being made from good quality materials: glass, silicone, stainless steel
• making sure anything that is going to be used anally has a wiiiiide base so it doesn't disappear up you and resulting in you needing to go to the ER
• being used with condoms, especially if it's going to be difficult to clean or if you're unsure of the quality of the materials.

We also have this piece on DIY sex-toys: D.I.Y Sex Toys: Self-Love Edition

[Laney]

What do you mean it doesn’t matter if I am a male because on sex shop sit it says for him or for her

[KierC]

Laney,

Some sites choose to market their toys that way; it’s not entirely accurate, and it would be more accurate to say “toys suitable for vaginal entry,” “toys suitable for anal play,” etc.

A person’s gender identity doesn’t say anything about their genitals, the genitals of their partner, or what kinds of sex they will enjoy and take part in; so it doesn’t matter when it comes to sex toys. As Jacob said, what matters most with sex toys is making sure it’s made of a good quality material, with a wide base if being used for anal, and used with condoms. Does that clarify that for you?

[Laney]

Ok I guess so so that being said a Hitachi would work on me?

[KierC]

I can’t say how it would feel for you; as Jacob said, sex toys are very much a personal preference. The only way to know is to try it for yourself. That being said, a wand vibrator can be used externally on various parts of the body, again based on personal preference.

[Laney]

What do u mean personal preference

[KierC]

Personal preference refers to the things you individually like based on your unique taste.

[Laney]

Can I get new personal preference

[KierC]

While you can’t choose or force a preference, it is possible for people’s preferences to change over time.

For example (food metaphor incoming): if you have a favorite food, that’s a personal preference! So, you can’t really force yourself not to like your favorite food, and it’s also hard to try to like or enjoy a food that you really just don’t like at all. But, it is possible that your favorite food can change over time naturally, as you explore different types of food and find different sensations enjoyable. Does that example make sense?

[Laney]

Yes thank u what would be a way to know my preference

[KierC]

You are welcome!

To find out your preferences, you simply try out things/activities that you find interesting, that you feel drawn to do, or that seem enjoyable to you. If you try the thing, and it makes you feel good, and you want to do the thing again, that could be a preference! On the other hand, if you try something and it’s not so fun or enjoyable, then you may not prefer that activity.

You may find it helpful to think about preference as something you like more than other things. So, if you had free time and could choose between one activity or another, whichever activity you would rather do is the one you “prefer”. Put simply, your preference is just something that you like or enjoy.

[Laney]

Well I like watching porn of girls get vibed does that mean I will like vibrators

[Jacob]

If you enjoying watching something it is the watching itself which is enjoyable. Whether you'd enjoy the doing is completely separate. Plenty of people will cheer on a marathon-runner but would rather do anything but run 26.2 miles! Some people in the audience might think "I want to do that" but they won't know if they enjoy it or even if they are capable, unless they try long-distance running themselves.

Likewise, you won't know if you find vibration enjoyable unless you try it and then conclude "yes I enjoyed that".

I'd also remind you that, sex toys are mostly designed for how they feel and how they function, and porn is mostly written, directed and performed in a way that creators think the audience will like the look of. Physical appearance of an activity and the actor's performance doesn't tell you anything about how that thing would feel for you.

[Laney]

Ok well one thing I worry about is how will I get one I am 17 and I don’t know what my parents would think. And does cumming help u sleep

[Heather]

Laney, in your other thread, I already let you know that for minors, many sex toys can be found via big box stores or online resellers that don't ask for anyone's age.

We can't tell you what your parents would think, but as with our other conversation, it may be that this is a nonissue because there's no reason to talk to your parents about sex toys in the first place. As I've explained before, in many families -- I'd say most -- healthy boundaries around everyone's sex lives in a family involve family members not sharing details about their masturbation that aren't something that needs to be shared.

And yes, some people find that orgasm helps them to sleep. We cannot tell you if this will be the case for you, but that's not a big deal because it's something you can easily find out on your own by trying it and seeing how you feel about it.

[Laney]

Well I have talked to my mom about sex not my sexual preference but like questions on sex and stuff