Scarleteen

So, I’ve been dealing with a lot lately, from dealing with the trauma and grief the deaths of former friends in high school, to figuring out I was aromantic asexual to just a lot of other smaller concerns. My question is, how do I meet other LGBTQ people (like working age people outside of my college, because I’m 26 now, and would like to hang out with others closer in age to me), and are there any groups for people who have been through grief and major illnesses both mental and physical like me?
My therapist and I have talked and we decided that it’s best not to share too much of the past with my family right now, and thankfully I’m out of the house and have a lot more independence from my parents and family than I did before, but I want to stay close with them without bringing up painful memories. Staying in the closet because I can’t find anyone who’s been through my experiences is getting old, I want to come out and get a proper social life outside of school and work. What do I do?

Hey spottedowl!

I'm sorry to hear about everything you've been dealing with, especially all at one time! There are definitely a lot of resources and communities out there that match what you describe. I think our recommendations depend on if you're looking for an online or an in-person community.

If you're looking for in-person communities, you can research community centers, LGBTQ support groups, and group therapy (which is honestly a great source of support and community!) in your area. If you want, you could also let us know your general area and we could help you search as well! As for online communities, you're likely find more options but I totally understand if that wouldn't cover the social needs you want to fulfill. It may be helpful to try finding community and friends online WHILE you search for the right fit for your needs 'irl'.

Hi,
Thanks for the response! I am in the Chicago area so that might help with community searching. Yeah, I’m mostly looking for an in real life kind of community.

Hi spottedowl! Queer Chicagoan here, and I have resources for you!

So, the very good news is that there are a *lot* of spaces to meet other LGBTQ+ folks your age! I’m in a similar boat, so I have a few suggestions that helped for me, and a few I know of in the Chicago area. There’s a few different “types” of resources/community centers/support groups I’d like to share with you. Some of them are more special interest, so feel free to ignore if they aren’t your cup of tea, but here goes:

Support groups

1. Here’s a good database of support groups in the area for you to peruse: Queery Chicago: Support Groups. You’ll see it’s from Queery, which is also a good resource to find social events as well as healthcare resources in the area.

2. Center on Halsted has a few therapist-led support groups that can be found here: Center On Halsted: Behavioral Health Groups. They have a grief group, a queer women’s group, and a coming out group that might be of interest.

3. Affinity95 has peer-led support groups, which can be found here: Affinity95: Peer Groups. They have a “20-somethings” group that could be fun!

Social events/groups

1. A few local-run instagram accounts that share queer events/places to meet other LGBTQ+ folks your age: Herequeerchicago, thequeersocialclub, queerselfcaresundays, transchicago

Two more that are more special-interest: zineclubchicago (for making zines and meeting friends), queer.quilting.chi (for quilting and friends)

2. The Trans Empowerment Center has drop-in hours from 3-6 PM for LGBTQ+ folks. Their first drop-in event is on March 20, they’re having art and snacks and puppies! They’re located in the Puerto Rican Cultural Center: https://prcc-chgo.org/2018/03/20/trans-chicago/

3. Hot Potato Hearts is a speed-dating event that runs across different neighborhoods in Chicago, but they also have friend-dating events you may want to look out for! They’re on instagram at hotpotatoheartshotpotato

How do those sound as a start?