penetration issues

[chirochiro]

i am 17 (18 in June), have a vagina, i masturbate often and have never had sex. i have tried multiple times under a lot of different circumstances to penetrate myself and it has never worked. i’ve never been able to use tampons; i’ve tried twice and both times ended up with me in tears from trying to get it in, using the smallest size you can get. i’ve tried putting a single finger in when i’m already wet from getting off through other methods, and when i’m on my period, and i feel like i can’t find an opening and it just hurts. i don’t have a girlfriend right now but i know that i do want to have sex later on, so i want to resolve this or find out what the problem is if there is one so it isn’t an issue when the time comes, or just so that i can explain it better to a partner. also it just.. seems like it would feel really good lol. i really Want to try it just for myself

i also have slightly messed up hormones. i don’t remember all of it but I have much much higher testosterone than average and lower lh, which does affect my periods and stuff like body hair. I don’t have an official diagnosis of anything because the tests came back very strange but the most similar thing that I may have according to doctors is PCOS, so I don’t know if that could be linked at all

is there anything you can recommend to help with this/further explore it? if nothing works, would it be worth going to a GP? im very nervous about trying it now because of how much it’s hurt before and because i feel like i don’t even know where the opening is, but i really want to.

thank you in advance

[KierC]

Hi chirochiro, and welcome to the boards

I’m sorry to hear you’ve had these painful experiences when trying vaginal entry and that it’s been a source of stress for you.

When you’re experiencing continued pain with insertion like this, it’s really helpful to consult with a gynecologist. Conditions like vaginismus can make the pelvic muscles tighten involuntarily and cause pain and difficulty with insertion, and can be helped with gentle exercises and pelvic floor physical therapy; too, a micro perforated hymen (where it covers more of the vaginal opening) can also cause difficulty and pain with insertion. In these cases of continued pain, a gynecologist will be the next step forward.

I would also not attempt vaginal entry anymore before seeing a gynecologist. We don’t want to keep trying something when it’s painful each time, as our brains can start to associate vaginal entry with pain. Know what I mean?

When you saw your doctor and they said you may have PCOS, did they advise you on anything regarding any symptoms you’re having, or refer you to a gynecologist?

My main recommendation is, if you’re concerned about pain with insertion, to consult with a gynecologist. I would tell them everything you’ve told us, including your medical history and possible PCOS diagnosis. They can help you with any symptoms you’re having surrounding periods that may be uncomfortable, as well as pain with insertion. Is that something you’re able to do?

[Heather]

One more thing from me! I'd ask for the provider who ran those hormone tests for you to send them over to whatever OB/GYN you see. They may be very helpful to them.

[chirochiro]

when I went to the doctor for hormone stuff they didn’t really do much, they basically just said since im not trying to get pregnant it’s not a relevant issue lol so im not sure what would happen in regards to this. i’d really rather not go yet tbh bc that would mean running it past my mum, she’s very nice and supportive with this kind of thing but it is Painfully embarrassing. is there anything im able to do myself to find out more or is it just going to the doctor? I feel like it isn’t a big enough problem to bother going to the doctor about

[Heather]

Well, it sounds like you saw a GP for that, no? And not a great one, at that. If someone gave you a possible PCOS diagnosis, it means you could have PCOS, which has all kinds of impacts on people, not just possible fertility issues. And with that alone, you really should see an OB/GYN. You can tell your mother about that, if that makes this easier for you.

So, so long as you see an OB/GYN, and someone who is a generally quality practitioner, things should go much differently than that last time with the doctor.

I disagree that intense vaginal pain when you try and do things like putting a tampon or a finger in isn't a big enough problem. It suggests there might be something that needs addressing or treatment. And no, I'm afraid this just isn't something where you can self-diagnose. I also don't think that reproductive healthcare is anything you should feel embarrassed about. It's no different than dental care or general care: it's a kind of healthcare everyone with a reproductive system needs. Is there anything we can do to help you feel more comfortable about seeking that kind of healthcare out?