Scarleteen

Hi!
This is my first romantic relationship. We have been together as a couple for three months, but I have known my partner for years. I had never been in a romantic or sexual relationship before. During the first month and part of the second, I experienced a lot of anxiety. I tend to overthink things and fear many aspects of relationships—hurting my partner, being hurt by my partner, not being enough, not knowing how to handle a relationship, etc.

Despite all my anxiety, I believe my partner has been patient and understanding. I sought professional help, and my anxiety levels have decreased. I would like to start exploring my sexuality with my partner. We took a first step by being alone in a room and kissing. At first, I was a bit scared, but I enjoyed the experience.

However, I don't know how to continue progressing sexually with him because I get anxious, and it's hard for me to determine if I'm truly ready or if I'm just letting fear take over. I feel sexual desire and want to explore that side with my partner—I trust him—but I still feel afraid, and I feel bad for feeling this way.
How could I feel more secure to move forward? For example, letting him see me naked or seeing him naked.

Hello NewGirlArises20, welcome to the boards!

Congratulations on your new relationship, and for making progress with your mental health! You’ve asked a question about steps you can take now, but I want to acknowledge that you’ve already made some big changes, and you deserve to be proud. I think we have some resources on the site that might help with part of your question. Would you look though our sex readiness checklist and this article: How to Get Comfortable? Let us know if you have any questions or thoughts about them.

You don’t have to feel bad about being afraid. You’ve mentioned that your partner has been patient and understanding, that you trust him, and that you want to explore sex with him. In that case, I imagine that it might feel like you should just get over your fears. But forcing yourself before you’re ready won’t help, and it probably won’t lead to a positive experience. You are not harming anyone, so you can take your time.

If I may ask, is your anxiety here focused on something specific, or is it just an undefined sense that something might go wrong?