Scarleteen

hi there! newbie here, I just found this website while searching some doubts I have and I feel like this is a safespace to ask. So I'm 17y, my boyfriend is 18y. We're both eachothers firsts and inexperienced, I have the luck to have found a boy who is not afraid to explore my body in any form I like. so far we've been "together" a few times and he always fingers me so good, one thing I'm wondering is if I should feel more what he does down there? Idk I had the impression that the vagina is the most sensible part of the body and that I could feel a little bean that would be under 100 mattresses below me with my vagina. But I always have to ask him how many fingers are in because I have no fucking clue. Yesterday I asked him and he said he was 4 FINGERS DEEP. and I was like what how?!?@!??@ later we talked about this and he said he has used 4 before, and I didn't notice. Now I'm wondering if I'm desensitized for some reason? or is this normal???
HWLPPPP
Also he did go down on me and I didn't feel any stimulation. I was wet before when he was touching me, but the moment he went down I got significantly less wet, and I couldn't tell what he was doing, if he was sucking me or licking me idk. we're both like REALLY INEXPERIENCED like we're trying everything for the first time, so the fact we don't know what a "blowjob on a vagina" is supposed to be like is likely why we're doing it wrong. thank you in advance for any help!! I wish the best for ya'll, you really have cultivated a safespace for others searching for information<3

Hi Helly, and welcome to the boards!

First, I am so happy to hear that you’re with a partner who is open to exploring sexuality with you. It sounds like you’re in a safe space to explore, and you’re certainly in a safe space to share here. <3

There’s a couple things I want to mention here with regard to what you’re experiencing with your anatomy, but I want to start by telling you what you’ve described here is not abnormal, it’s just a question of if this all feels good for you. While the vaginal canal has nerve endings and can feel sensations, it is not necessarily the “most” sensitive/innervated part of sexual anatomy. The clitoris, however, has many nerve endings, and plenty of folks find that area to be more sensitive than the vaginal canal. I hear you, too, that you were wondering about feeling a little bean — if you’re referring to a little bean on the outside (the vulva), that is the clitoris! You can see it in a diagram in this article: With Pleasure: A View Of Whole Sexual Anatomy For Every Body.

When you say you have trouble feeling anything in your vagina, is it a numb feeling, or painful, or does it just feel like touching any other body part? Too, when you say he’s using 4 fingers, are you okay with that, and is that something you want him to do and feels good for you?

With oral sex, there’s not really a “right” or “wrong” way to do it, and there’s not really a way it’s supposed to be. Every body is so unique, and certain touches that feel really good for you may not feel so great for the next person. Some folks just do not feel pleasure with vaginal entry, and some really really do. Both are totally normal.

So, finding out what does feel good for you can be a process! Something that can make this process a bit more easy and fun, though, is making sure you’re approaching this when you’re relaxed and aroused, and when you’re feeling curious about it instead of expecting it to feel a certain way. I think that’s my biggest advice here, which is to keep exploring with curiosity, and open up communication so you can have a say in how you’re being touched. How does that all sound to you?

hiiii, thank you so much for the information!! yeah it does feel good when he uses 4 fingers, it was juds that feeling of I didn't realize my body could do that, how did i even end up here? hahsh
and sure, i knew about the clitoris but, same thing i didn't realize it was a more sensible part than the vagina, you really educated me here
thank you so much I'll keep exploring to find out what I like most <33 Yall are gods.

I totally hear you, it can be surprising how much the vaginal canal can accommodate for some folks when they’re relaxed and aroused.

Yeah, the clitoris has *thousands* of nerve endings there, and the clitoris is actually much bigger than just the “bean” part on the outside — it actually goes internally too, which you can see in the article I sent. To give you more context, for some folks the clitoris doesn’t feel that great to touch (in the same way that, for some, vaginal entry doesn’t feel as great — again, it’s all so individualized), so I’m not saying it *should* feel good just because there’s nerve endings there. If you try and it doesn’t feel good, there’s nothing wrong with you. It’s just a spot to try and see if it feels good for you in particular, or if that’s an area you’d like to engage.

If you have more questions as you continue to explore and communicate with him, we’re here for support.