Scarleteen

I'm an 18 year old guy. I've always felt disconnected when talking with other people about sex. I always desire to be taken like my partner pinning me to the wall, kissing me, caressing me as if they desire me so much. I also like to be submissive in bed and I feel like I'm abnormal and broken because so many discussions, norms that I see always puts the guy in a dominant position. I tried to force myself to be more dominant but it just isn't me.

Is it normal? How can I feel more confident in my desires?

Hi SaiyanR, welcome to the boards!

This is perfectly okay, don’t worry! There is nothing strange about being a submissive guy. You don’t have to force yourself to change, because there is nothing wrong with how you are.

I know that might be hard to believe, especially if you are surrounded by people with very restrictive views about sex and gender. If you want to become more confident in your desires, a useful step might be to take some time to clearly articulate why these people are incorrect. Knowing that feelings of discomfort or shame come from bad sources can make them easier to set aside.

We have an article that describes some steps you can take to deal with sexual shame: Undoing Sexual Shame. Would you read it and tell us what you think?