weird fetish, and i feel weird about it.

[kokomocat]

So, ever since I was young, (idk exactly what age it started, or when, or what the heck started it in the first place) I've had a weight gain/fat fetish. (wow. I've never admitted that anywhere, ever before) and... im very uncomfy with it. it's only ever in the form of art, i never even look at in real life examples, and i don't find the concept in real life arousing, but it's the only thing that i can get arousal/wet from, and nothing else I've tried has done anything for me, but i really don't want this to define me, or to be my fate.
Is there anyway to get rid of this? Should i get rid of it? Or do i have to live with this forever? Is it weird or bad that, from what i know, i can only feel arousal from this? Am i awful for getting off on that?

[Jacob]

No need to do anything special to "get rid" of it, all bodies are beautiful, and the ways that plays out in all our minds can be different, from person to person. Usually even our most surprising fantasies have a bunch of very good reasons to exist, and aren't actually "weird" at all they're just there - and often connect to other non-sexual things we're experiencing and feeling.

With this particular one: we have a society which is full of many very fat-phobic rules which can cause us all plenty of anxiety so in our fantasies, connecting with imaginary people, and imagining bodies who do not obey those rules can feel very liberating and exciting.

Bigness and smallness are also very common elements in all kinds of different fantasies and sexual depictions (particular parts of the body being big, having big muscles, being tall, being big overall - including all their opposites). In visual media the bigger someone is, the more of the frame they occupy, for a thing that is based on "seeing" there is more of them to see and then in our fantasies if we imagine experiencing touch, and the weight of somebody - we can exaggerate those feelings by imagining those people themselves to be bigger. So instead of thinking this as a weird thing or a "fetish" I'd instead think of this as something that connects you to the wider culture, rather than marks you out.

I'll also say that fantasy and desire are different, and both of those are different from reality, it might feel like your fantasies have quite a specific form, but that's because they're all yours, and reside only in your mind. What you actually want can involve much more varied combination of emotional needs and spontaneous feelings of attraction, and then when you connect with a partner in reality the things that connect you are again often very different to what first attracted you, and usually do not look too much like the fantasies you may have had before meeting them.

Usually trying to get rid of a fantasy just makes it stronger, as the "forbidden" aspect becomes part of the erotic draw of it. Whether this fantasy sticks with you or not, it certainly doesn't define you, it's only a part of your sexuality, which itself is only a part of all the experiences you have in life all of which will naturally evolve on their own.

[Heather]

I do want to pipe in and second something Jacob said, which is that in a less fat-phobic world, this wouldn't likely even be considered a fetish at all. In a world without so much anti-fat sentiment, this would instead likely just be something you and anyone else would talk about as your attraction to a certain body type as being very strong, and your attraction to other body types as low to nonexistent. <3