Scarleteen

Hi wonderful staff and volunteers of Scarleteen!
I have a question as I am a bit concerned sorry in advance if I go into to much detail.
So recently I have been masturbating more as a form of stress relief (on average 2 a day.)
However recently I have been struggling to orgasm, like I am needing much more force and pressure for longer durations to orgasm. I am worried I have become desensitizes, are there any tips to reverse this? Also went I orgasm its a lot less intense than it used to be, a bit underwhelming. Could this be because I have increased my frequency?

On a side note I saw Heathers post yesterday on Dishonesty in profiles/Registration and am sorry you guys are struggling with trolls. Your website is amazing and has definitely helped me a lot so thanks again!

Aw, thanks, CuteKitten.

So, "desensitization" isn't actually a thing that can happen to nerve endings or other body parts from masturbation. What *can* happen, though, is that we can get used to doing things a certain way, or having things feel a certain way, to a point that it becomes difficult to reach orgasm if we do things a different way. Usually, all that's needed to solve for that is just to take a break for a bit and then give ourselves a reset, starting over with less force/power/stimulation and letting our bodies relearn.

Too, it can often be that when people are new to masturbation or other kinds of sex that orgasm feels more intense than it does when you get more used to it as a thing. How intense orgasm feels also often has a lot to do with -- sometimes much more to do with, even, than what physical things someone is doing -- how aroused a person is. So, if you're also masturbating more and more often as a habit, you're probably coming to it less excited than you might have before, and the same is true if you're starting to struggle to orgasm. Struggling and being aroused don't often tend to coexist well, you know?

Lastly, how orgasm or other parts of sexual response feel tend to have cycles over time. You can be in a place for a few months or years, say, where it all mostly feels one way, or comes super easy, or is very intense, then enter a cycle where it's less intense, or it's harder to come by, or it feels differently, and that's not really surprising since our life tends to change in cycles, too, and how sexual response feels is very influenced by how we feel as whole people with whole lives.

Make sense? I wouldn't worry about this. I'd just see what happens when you let go of worry, give yourself a reset, and maybe also see what happens when you masturbate less and try only masturbating when you're actually feeling very sexually excited.

Hi Heather,
Thanks for such a comprehensive response!

"Make sense? I wouldn't worry about this. I'd just see what happens when you let go of worry, give yourself a reset, and maybe also see what happens when you masturbate less and try only masturbating when you're actually feeling very sexually excited."

Yes it definitely makes sense particularly the arousal part. I will try the tips you suggested as see what happens. After reading your response I feel much more confident that I can fix this problem and also better understand what potential problems caused it

Glad to help out. I would suggest, too, you try not to think of this as a problem, since it really isn't one. Orgasm, after all, is nice, but we don't need it to be alive or anything, and it not feeling like you're used to is more of a minor momentary blip than a problem. <3

Yea of course. I don't want to sound like I am blowing this out of proportion. There are many worse sexual have problems that people have and mine I guess isn't really one.

Oh, I didn't even mean it that way. I meant that sometimes when we frame something as a problem, we make it one. And solving a problem automatically piles some degree of frustration on to things, whereas, say, accepting a temporary shift, variation or hiccup can be a way of approaching something like this which can make it all feel easier and less stressful.

I see,
thanks for clarifying I think I misinterpreted your last response.

No worries!