Scarleteen

I (16) recently got my driver’s license. I now have the ability to drive myself to places (think friend’s house) on the condition that I call/text my parents when I arrive and when I leave. The problem is I forget ~60% of the time when I’m arriving, so I end up with upset parents. I’ve been trying to find a remedy for this, like setting a timer a couple minutes longer than my estimated travel time, but it only works part of the time because I forget to set the alarm. I feel really bad and want to make it an habit, but alas, my brain has other plans. Any advice/tips?

I'm absolutely terrible at this kind of thing, so I relate big time. The people in my life who get neurodiversity are generally good about it when I tell them ahead of time that I will try to let them know if I got home safe, but that it's also harder for me than they can probably realize, and to please go easy on me if I forget!

One thing you could try is speaking a little more with your parents about it, and see if it doesn't help to explain in a bit more detail that this is something that you have tried to improve on with extra steps like setting alarms, but that 100% is very unlikely for you and the way your brain works. It doesn't mean that you don't care about them being stressed and worried, or that you aren't trying, it just means that whatever system of reminders you're relying on hasn't worked.

If your friends happen to be people who are good at remembering this kind of thing, perhaps you could ask them to prompt you to text when you arrive there, but that depends on your friend, and if this is something you want to ask them.

However, I also wonder if you could talk to your parents about perhaps reversing this expectation - Could you agree instead that if they don't hear from you that means your fine. You could ensure that your that friends have your parents' number, and have had been advised to call home in an emergency, and (if you wanted to) you could see if you have the option of using crash detection on your phone, which depending the make and model could send a text to your emergency contacts if a crash-like impact is detected.

Either way though, it sounds like it'd be helpful to you if your parents could be a little more understanding!