Scarleteen

Hi.Im a 16 year old girl.I have heard my parents have sex like 3 or 4 times in the last couple of years.And ever since than I noticed that I started to get really sexual thoughts and bad sexual intrusive thoughts.I dont like them at all,they make my life hard.I thought it would lead back to hearing my parents having sex.Last year I still went to therapy for my(unrelated to the topic)depression.I told my therapist I got traumatised by hearing my parents,and she told me that cant traumatise me(she's a sex therapist aswell as a children therapist,she should know her stuff??)but that cant be true,right?Because I feel pretty damn traumatised.Im writing this bc,well,I heard my sister (possibly,im not even sure but it sounded like it) having sex with her boyfriend(If she really was having sex,I feel double awful bc she's only 14).I started panicking and crying and generally I think it was an anxiety attack.WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS HAVE SEX WHEN THEY ARENR ALONE IN THE HOUSE?!

Anyway,could this really be the cause of my hypersexuality?

If not,another factor(or a contributing factor to the first point I made) could be that I got exposed to porn at a very young age.When I was 10 a classmate told me a porn site(which wasnt even pornhub) and I curiously looked it up.I got addicted to porn for like a few months.Than I stopped idk how.But im pretty sure after that I didnt have urges and instrusive thoughts as it is usually typical for hypersexuality.But also in the last couple of years when I noticed that I might be hypersexual I often had like a couple of days here and there where I couldnt stop watching porn.Usually I just read ao3 or scroll through Rule 35 when I need to calm(?) my urges(but I hate doing that too)

Sorry that im rambling,its just good talking about all of it finally,I never felt I could reveal everything to anyone,but surely the internet understands.

Soo..am I hypersexual?How can I repress it better,its really fucking me up bad.

Hey there Ikulein, and welcome to the boards

I am sorry to hear that you’ve been distressed by this for a bit of time. I know it can’t feel good to keep things inside, so I’m glad you can talk about this here.

There’s a few things I want to bring up here, but I think it’s worth noting first that we often find terms like hypersexuality or sexual addiction to not accurately reflect how a lot of people experience and enact their sexuality. We do often see these terms used inaccurately, and sometimes those terms can make the person being described feel unnecessarily pathologized (which we don’t want you or anyone to feel!). I think your experiences here are more vast than can be described by a hyper/hypo framework, or an addiction framework. That being said, we can certainly talk about feelings of compulsivity or any other bothersome feelings you’re having, including the feeling of not being able to stop watching porn. When you say you feel like you can’t stop watching it, was it getting in the way of your daily life or tasks, like school or chores? I ask because it is healthy and normal to masturbate and watch pornography, even if you do it a lot, as long as it doesn’t bother you or interfere with your life. Know what I mean?

I want to ask, too, has your therapist had any reactions to you saying you might be hypersexual, and is this something you’ve continued to discuss with them?

With regard to hearing others have sex, I also do not think this can *cause* sexual addiction or hypersexuality, but I do hear you that it’s very distressing to you. Do you want to talk a little more about why this is particularly distressing?