Scarleteen

So, I'm omniromantic, but since I struggle a lot to tell if it's romantic or platonic attraction, I also use the label quioromantic.

There's a guy I know who I very much like as a person. I simply cannot distinguish if that is due to platonic attraction or romantic attraction.

And he very, very clearly has a crush on me. (Though, he has made it very clear if I wanna stick with just being friends, that's okay, and he's content to wait for as long as I need)

But I do want to figure it out as soon as possible, since I feel bad keeping him waiting, even though he doesn't mind.

I've assembled a list of more distinct thoughts/feelings I have in relation to him, and was hoping you guys could just clarify if this is romantic or platonic.
(I have felt both forms of attraction before, but for me, every relationship feels different, no matter what)

- Felt safe.
- Comfortable conversing about other people being attractive.
- Worry about him.
- Do not want to worry him.
- he is downright adorable.
- Liked holding his hand.
- Want to give him things I find cool or think he will like.
- Protective of him.
- Very much did not like when (other friend) tried to claim (potential crush) as his. (In a joking manner)
- He smells of Vanilla and sunshine. Idk why I had to add this but it feels important.
- Enjoyed teasing him.
- I want to show him my cool things, and learn about his cool things.
- want to learn more about him.
- Would walk to his house to hand him a frog. (He lives over 2,200 miles away)
- Very much like the eye-melting Hawaiian shirts he wears.
- Have his phone number memorized. (I've had it for less than a month)
- Enjoy watching him be happy.

Alas, especially since the definition of these things is often so arbitrary (though platonic just means non-sexual, so it’s less arbitrary than “romantic,” whose historical definition is wildly different than how a lot of people use it, and it means different things to different people…), this list doesn’t allow any of us to give you a clear answer on this. Personally, I have had both kinds of feelings for people who I could have made lists just like this about for each. Sorry it’s not simpler!

But let me suggest this: does it matter which of those things (which are about feelings) it is, or is it more about you needing to figure out what kind of *relationship* you want to pursue with this person (which is about communication and actions)?

Oh! One more thing: unless you both would want an exclusive relationship were you dating, does he need to be waiting — and thus, do you even need to be concerned about that — or can he just live his life like he would, and if you decide you want to date, he can add that to the mix?