Scarleteen

I mostly need to get the words out of my mouth right now, but… I really want a sexual relationship. My libido is high right now, but my masturbation sessions have felt unsatisfying lately and I think I need to take my sex life up a notch. My other option is to get sex toys, but I’m a minor which makes it difficult; I can’t DIY sex toys because I’m not looking for penetration, so I want a vibrator; my parents have access to my bank account so I can’t buy something online, and I can’t drive so I can’t even go to CVS and buy a “personal massager”. I figure my next best bet is finding another person to engage with sexually. The problem here is, I’ve never been in any kind of relationship and I’m not sure where to start. I’m not even interested in anybody in particular at the moment, which makes looking for a partner more difficult. I’m kind of scared that nobody will even want to have sex with me, because I’m autistic and visibly queer and generally not very good at human interaction. I know that’s probably not true, but when the last time someone admitted (to my knowledge) that they were romantically attracted to me was in seventh grade, it makes it feel kind of bleak. Any advice on how to put myself out there and ask someone to maybe hook up, or even on making masturbation feel good again?

Hi NarrativeFoil, welcome to Scarleteen!

I hear what you're saying, that definitely sounds frustrating! I want to make sure that you're being safe with these potential sexual encounters, first and foremost. Please do not use any dating or hook-up apps, as you are 16. Please also use protection and make sure you trust the person. With that out of the way, I don't think you being autistic and visibly queer means nobody will ever want to have sex with you! I am also autistic and visibly queer, like many of the people at Scarleteen, and that hasn't impacted my or any of our ability to have 'sex lives' if we want to have them. It's just a matter of finding the right person; both for sexual relationships and relationships in general. Regarding your sex toy options, do you anticipate getting your driver's license and being able to drive soon? Or do you have any friends who would be willing to drive you somewhere to buy a sex toy? There's also potentially still the option of buying something online, as some shops make sure their transactions are discreet and cannot be attributed to being from a 'sex shop'.