I don’t understand how I feel

[Moonlight22]

Ive been sexually assaulted when I was 6-7 for a long time but I don’t know how to feel about it I don’t really mind anymore but I think about it everyday but the feelings are just not there it’s on my mind but I don’t feel sad about it. I have a pretty normal life and have everything. But for some reason I find living boring and just want to die. Life is good and all but there is nothing that motivates me to stay in this world or keep living. can anyone help me understand what is going on?

[Heather]

Welcome to the boards, moonlight. I'm glad you found us.

I'm very sorry that you had to survive abuse and assault, but I'm so glad that you have. I'm also so sorry that you are struggling with suicidal ideation.

Unfortunately, as we make clear in our user agreement, that isn't something we have the resources or setup to help anyone with, and before we can help you with this in any other way, we need to make sure that you do find and use a resource that can help with with the suicidality first. I'm happy to talk with you about the impacts of assault, about depression or suicidality, but we need to make sure that you're safe and able to stay safe before we can talk.

Here is a listing of helplines in Belgium, including a couple centered on suicidal feelings: https://www.therapyroute.com/article/su ... in-belgium Are you open to reaching out to onw of those first?