Scarleteen

Let's start with bad news. So, I've been struggling with OCD for almost a few months now, and I was unable to get a therapist (until..good news later). This resulted in me compulsively typing about anything that made me anxious into ChatGPT. I would ask about so many situations involving impossible scenarios about pregnancy. I realize that this wasn't helping me, and I've stopped doing it recently. However, I remember ChatGPT holds onto your information and shares it into their system. This made me anxious that they'll be able to log all of my embarrassing spirals and I worry that they can identify me and use this as ammo to ruin my life. It's been a lot. I deleted my account, but I'm so sure my data is already all over the Internet. I feel awful about it, but I'm thankful I never shared anything personal about my location, family, or myself. Just my OCD spirals. So I guess I'll have to live with the fact that data is out there. Any advice for that would be nice..I'm confused on how to feel. They know I myself, have issues, but they disconnect my name attached to it? It still feels wrong, and I regret it deeply. I'll never use ChatGPT for this type of stuff ever again. It came from desperation due to my inability to get therapy or medication for my mental health. If i could've done it another way, I would've. But it is what it is I guess...

Good news is...I finally got my parents to refer me to an actual therapist for OCD, or psychiatrist! I don't know, yet! We're going to call my doctor tomorrow to get a referral. I had a real bad attack today, and they finally saw I needed help, so they told me they'll help me find an ACTUAL therapist. I'm probably still going to get medication secretly on my own, and I'll find the right time to, as I've been pretty busy helping family at home.

Hey Opal!

Ohhhh, ChatGPT. I think you’re wise to stop using it! Just so you know, over here we don’t support any use of generative AI for anything. We don’t think it’s a good idea for folks to use it not only for the environment, but also for the people whose work it steals, and for anyone using it. I also feel like it’s just Not something that meshes well with a ruminating mind, you know? It sounds like you realized that too, though, and I’m glad you decided not to use it anymore.

You know, I also hear you expressing concern about your data in ChatGPT, and feeling badly about having used it. I do think, in this case, reassurance about this concern is going to do more work to strengthen the anxiety cycle and spiral instead of lessening it, and I do want to help lessen it! We’ve talked about this before I think (let me know if we haven’t), but it really does the OCD brain a disservice to reassure, or try to fix/settle the distressing thought. Instead, sometimes we have to just look at the thought very plainly and go, “well, there goes a thought.” Cool part about this: I am actually hearing you use some phrases like that already, that you could remind yourself of more often when you feel yourself getting into an anxiety loop. You said “just my OCD spirals,” and “it is what it is.” How did it feel to approach the thought that way, sort of neutrally, compared to getting into the details of the thought?

Onto your good news: How fantastic! I am sorry that you had a bad attack and *that’s* what made them see this, but I am truly glad they’re helping you with this now. How’s the process of that going for you?

I know i REALLY hit a low point because I despise generative AI. One of my hobbies is drawing and I felt ashamed every time i used ChatGPT, but I've broken free from that! Idk if this is me reassuring myself, but I realized my OCD spirals i submitted weren't true and that I am not my thoughts. That's what made me realize OCD was hijacking my thought process once again. When I just accepted what happened has already happened, I felt a little more anxious, but it faded way quicker than if i were to entertain it. I sat and bared it for once and after 30 minutes it disappeared. So that's pretty cool

As for finding therapy, I'm a little worried because with my research there isn't any OCD specialists within my town, so I'll try to resort to telehealth or something like NOCD because they're also both reliable options. My primary doctor isn't answering my calls or my parents', so we're just going to attempt again later today and tomorrow! It's a small glimmer of hope, but I'm taking whatever i got haha

A reminder that the psychiatrist at your college is still an option! Again, to get started with help with this, you don't need an OCD specialist, you just WILL need a psychiatrist.