Birth control pills?

[emilzewinter]

Hi,
Today I went to the doctor because I have been bleeding for 14 days on my period, although I am just spotting lightly now. My doctor knows that I am obsessed with pregnancy scares and she said that irregular bleeding was common among 19 year olds. She did not test me for anything and just told me to get on birth control pills. I do not know if that is the smart thing to do since I am still scared of pregnancy (even though there was no penetration nor direct contact, just precum and manual). So I was wondering, what should I expect on the first month of birth control? I just know that if my period does not come next month, I will freak out. But then again, if I do not get on the pill and eventually am sexually active again, I will freak out too. I do not know if the side effects and the irregularity of bleeding and breakthrough bleeding is worth it. I guess my main problem is that I always fear of being pregnant and do not know if that fear would increase or decrease with bc. What should I do?

[Heather]

Well, really, I don't think this is something you -- and certainly not we, not being you -- can predict for you. I think this is, instead, one of those things you try, give your body time to get used to (it usually takes a few months) and then see how it makes you feel.

Generally, the side effects of the pill when you first start it are a whole lot like PMS symptoms. Of course, some people don't really have any at all. And while in the first few cycles, some spotting or irregular bleeding can be an issue, that usually tapers off fast.

But given your pregnancy fears, I certainly think seeing how that goes with a highly effective method of birth control is a sound idea. Did you not discuss these questions with the doctor at the time? Did you let them know you have been struggling with anxiety and irrational fears around pregnancy? If you did, what did she have to say about it?

[emilzewinter]

Heather,
My gynecologist always seems to be in a hurry, every time I try speaking to her about it she would just say "Get on the pill hun, that is it." She literally saw me for 30 seconds and then left. I cannot speak to her about it and my mom has been so frustrated that she just tells me to do what ever I want, pill, no pill and that if I was pregnant, worrying would do nothing and that she does not want to hear it. So I do not have anyone to ask my questions to.

Although I am sure non one wants side effects, what worries me more than the side effects is the fact that I may not get my period next month and I will lose my mind over it. However, in the long run, I know that I will be glad that I am being safe with the pill.

[Heather]

Well, we're happy to help you find mental healthcare if you like, and if you are close to a clinic like Planned Parenthood, you also can always get a consult there where people will take the time. (And whooboy, does your GYN sound like a native Texan if ever there was one!)

But you know, I also think there's a big benefit in you making your own choices with this without a team of consultants. After all, one of the ways we figure out what we're ready for sexually is by seeing if we can actually handle it, including our choices, mostly on our own and with the support of our partners and friends. If it feels like we really can't, then that's information we actually need about ourselves to inform our choices.

[emilzewinter]

I would really appreciate you helping me find mental healthcare. As a psychology major, the last thing I wanted to do was see a psychologist myself, but as much as I dislike to admit it, I need the help. It has gotten to the point where I think that my irrational fears are rational and everyone else around me is misinformed, or that I am that one exception.
True. I always turn to others to make decisions for me, all kinds of decisions and that has to stop.

[Heather]

I'd actually hope as a psych major, you could recognize that seeing the exact kind of care you may be providing as something to try and avoid isn't so hot!

So, you're in college, then. have you started by looking at what your student health services offer in this regard? That's usually the best first place to look, especially since those services are usually free or very low cost, and designed to work with student schedules.

[emilzewinter]

I actually just made an appointment with a counselor at my college, thank you so much.

[Heather]

Rock on! Nice swift move with your own self-care there!