Scarleteen

Hi, I have a really baggy foreskin, even when hard I still have lots of extra skin left over. Because of this I realise my dick head pretty much never comes out unless I force the skin down, and I'm worried that all the extra skin is trapping sweat and pee, because I get a lot of dick cheese all the time, and its making me really self conscious about my own hygiene, is there anything I can do to make my foreskin less baggy and annoying?

Welcome to the boards, lqambar.

That's a normal variation, and there's a term for it, it's called "redundant foreskin." Whether or not someone chooses to do something about it varies, for some people it doesn't cause problems nor do they experience it as one.

Other folks -- sounds like maybe you're one of these people -- feel differently or have different experiences. That excess of smegma, or it being harder to keep clean, is one experience with this most folks obviously won't experience as neutral or positive.

This is something to talk about with a healthcare provider. I believe most of the options with this are surgical, including partial or full circumcision, but this also isn't my area of expertise. I'd seek out a urologist to consult with about your options with this.

In the meantime, with your hygiene concerns, I take it you're already just trying to give yourself some extra time in the shower with hot water in the area, and pulling your foreskin back as much as you comfortably can to clean around it? That extra time with the hot water tends to help loosen/soften that accumulation of cells and such so it's easier to rinse away.

Hey Heather! Circumcision sounds pretty scary, iirc I got checked in school the doctor did say something about having too much skin and asking if I ever considered it, but I kinda just said nope. Ngl with cleaning idk if im doing enough? My head is crazy sensitive like i can't touch it at all so I just try to run water over it to wash it

Hi Lqambar! Pulling your foreskin back and rinsing with water is the recommended way to wash, so it sounds like you're doing just fine! I am a little concerned to hear that it is so sensitive that you can't touch it at all — that sounds like something that would be good to mention to a healthcare provider.

We have an article all about the foreskin that talks a bit about how to care for your penis and wash well, in case you'd like to know more: A Foreskin Foray: Questions, Concerns & Clarifications

Thanks Hannah! Do you think the sensitivity has anything to do with how rarely the head gets exposed? I actually only recently started pulling the skin back a few months ago

Sensitivity in the head of the penis is common for many folks and isn't typically cause for concern, but if it's sensitive to the point you can't really even touch it, then it could be due to how tight the foreskin is (causing irritation). An infection could also cause that sort of sensitivity. It's impossible for us to know without being medical professionals and looking at it, though, so these are just some causes for increased sensitivity. The best thing to do here would be consult a doctor again. You can start by going to a primary care physician and explaining the situation, and if a referral is needed, they can provide that.

Ok ill try to get an appointment and see if they can take a look

Btw is there anything I can try so I don't get so much smegma? I clean my foreskin every day but it always comes back by the time I shower again? It makes me really anxious that if I do anything with my girlfriend she's going to be so grossed out at how dirty I am down there

Did you get a chance to read the article Hannah sent? Here's part of it:

"A sticky substance called smegma does often build up some on the head of the penis beneath the foreskin, as it also can within the vulva. Smegma is just the combination of dead skin cells and bodily secretions like sweat and seminal fluids. It’s harmless, but like other body fluids, it doesn’t necessarily smell like a bouquet of roses. Of course, that’s totally okay – we’re all human, and all of our bodies have specific smells. But in order to prevent infection, discomfort, or inflammation (or to get rid of a smell that’s more funky than you like to be) it’s a good idea to carefully pull back and the foreskin and rinse off the smegma with warm water and gentle, unscented soap. If you just slide a finger along the top of the retracted foreskin while you do this, it’s usually easy to just wipe and rinse smegma off."

Now, if your foreskin is very tight and hard to retract, don't force it. That can cause more damage than good, so just make sure you're gentle and not in pain from this. Having smegma doesn't mean you're dirty, by the way. It's natural and given your situation it makes sense. Hopefully your doctor can help you stretch your foreskin a bit so you can clean around it without and pain or discomfort. As long as you're washing it properly, any smegma build up is temporary and can just be washed off!

Mm yeah I did read that part, and yeah personally im sorta getting comfortable with how I am rn, but what im anxious about is more of what others are gna think and how to deal with that? Like most of my friends think foreskin is dirty my gf included and idk how I can get her to accept that im just this way

Unfortunately some people have the wrong information about foreskin and don't actually understand what it is. That's only really a thing here in the US, by the way, all over the world the norm is to have foreskin and it isn't seen as weird or dirty or anything other than just normal. So it's a cultural stigma, but with some education people can learn there's nothing dirty about it and it's natural.

This isn't to invalidate your feelings, because I do empathize. If you're heard your friends and even your girlfriend say negative things about foreskin that can be really tough to shake. I'm just wondering if you could explain to her that it's normal and really not much different than a circumcised penis. The article Hannah sent is a great place to learn more about it.

Ultimately, though, if someone is judging your body then it's not the right person for you. If when she finds out you're not circumcised she says anything rude about it, that's not okay, as shaming your partner's body isn't respectful. The right person won't care and won't say anything mean about your body.

ok so i just saw my doc and asked him about it, basically yeah he said theres no infection or anything i js have a lot of extra skin and that makes it easy for stuff to get trapped inside? he said it would be better if i got circumcised cos im cleaning it but am still getting dick cheese all the time. idk what to do honestly im pretty scared of circumcision but also it really sucks to have a dick thats stinky pretty much all the time

Hi Lqambar, hope it's ok for me to jump in!

I think it was great you got to speak with a doctor. As others have said above, medical decisions are ones for you to make with the guidance of your doctor and with the stigma in mind.

What we can discuss is how you're feeling surrounding the decision, as well as the stigma mentioned above. I found another article with lots of advice questions which may make you feel less alone.
Shown Actual Size: A Penis Shape & Size Lowdown

Would you say your worry is coming more from the physical discomfort you've described or the worry you have about what your girlfriend might think?

yea i think mostly its that idw my gf to be turned off by my foreskin? like i get that theres nothing wrong with being uncut but i can also totally see why shed be grossed out by me, like for example she's talked about giving me bjs before but i always avoid it bc it feels wrong to let her touch or lick it when its so dirty

Hey Lqambar! My name is Becky and I'm a volunteer with Scarleteen. I hope it's ok that I'm jumping in here while our other volunteers are offline.

Have you talked to your girlfriend about how she feels about foreskin? Because I'll let you know that there are a lot of people out there who really enjoy foreskin and are not grossed out by it at all!

How would you feel about just taking a quick shower or even just rinsing off at the sink before getting intimate with your girlfriend? I think this could quickly and easily alleviate a lot of your concerns around oral sex. Also if the idea of oral sex is truly making you uncomfortable right now it is totally okay to just take it off the table for a bit and do other things.

Finally, I just want to offer you some comfort that this likely won't be something you have to deal with forever. When we're young and going through puberty we often experience more sweating and our sebaceous glands are more active which can increase buildup on the skin, like smegma. So, it is something you'll have to keep on top of while going through puberty but it will likely decrease as you age!

Hi again, Lqambar. I just wanted to make sure that you also saw a piece on site here to possibly help you in your decision when it comes to circumcision. By all means, that doesn't sound like something you have to do, it sounds like a choice, once where it's just as valid to choose not to do it.

But if it's something you want to think about, now or later on, I think this piece might be helpful: https://www.scarleteen.com/read/bodies/ ... rcumcision

Yeah thats a good idea actually i could try to sneak off to the bathroom if we're going to do anything lol. My gf knows im uncut but we haven't really talked about it specifically. Idk what she really thinks about it but i think shes just scared about it being dirty bc thats what some of her friends have been saying? Like i get that in general uncut isnt supposed to be less clean, and ig i wanna prove that to her, but the way i am rn its definitely going to be the opposite

Btw thanks everyone for helping me out here i really appreciate the support, like ive always hated how baggy my foreskin is but also been scared of getting circumcised, now i think im starting to feel better about myself!

That’s great!

Although the feelings we have surrounding our bodies and sex are not gonna go away over night, it is awesome to see you feeling better. Next steps could look like talking about your worries with your girlfriend.

I’ll leave you with some articles we have on communication to read if you’d like.

Be a Blabbermouth! The Whys, Whats and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner

Hello, Sailor! How to Build, Board and Navigate a Healthy Relationship

Yes, No, Maybe So: A Sexual Inventory Stocklist

Hi everyone so i kinda managed to talk to my gf about my foreskin and it wasn't too bad like she was actually kinda curious and wanted to see it but I was too shy for that, anyway she seemed ok with it except that she said she definitely doesn't want to do anything with it unless its clean and doesnt have a smell , so idk if it was dumb to but i said yeah definitely ill get it clean, but i feel like i kind of messed up here, because like no matter how i clean it it still has this really fishy smell? idk if i should try telling her thats just how it smells cos im uncut and hope i can get her to understand bc shes kind of a clean freak

So I think it's important to make the distinction that smell does not equal dirty. Our bodies have odors and sometimes they're related to hygiene and can go away when we clean those body parts, but sometimes it's due to something else and we can be clean and still have a smell. If you're pulling your foreskin back as much as you comfortably can without pain, and gently cleaning the smegma off using water and a mild soap, then your penis is clean whether the smell stays or comes back in 5 minutes. That doesn't mean you're dirty, so that's something to keep in mind. You can assure her you've cleaned yourself and this isn't a germs issue.

That said, you can't magically make the smell go away if it's something constant due to simply not being able to reach areas where smegma is getting trapped. So no matter how much you're cleaning what you can reach, if the smell is still there and she associates that with uncleanliness, that's something you'll need to explain to her.

How do you feel about the idea of getting circumcised? As others have said, this is your choice and if you don't want to do it, that's perfectly okay. But since your doctor suggested it, it'd be good to give it some good thought before you decide either way. If you want to talk through your thoughts on that, we can do so.

Yeah I think the smell isnt going away because when i pull it back i cant really get in all the folds of skin to clean it really well without it hurting like crazy? im just not really sure how to tell her about this in a way that wont make her uncomfy though, like she was pretty clear to me that everyone shed been with before where cut and had no smell at all and thats only why she agreed to do anything with them

You know, we really can't control other people's emotions, we can only control how we react to them. I understand you don't want her to feel uncomfortable, that makes total sense and is valid. But all you can do is be honest and explain it the way you understand it - how she feels or reacts is up to her. We also don't like or date people because of the smell of their genitals, we like and date them because we like THEM as a person. I said it before, but if she judges you and says something rude to you about this, especially when it's something you're actively trying to figure out, that says more about her than it does about you and that's not someone you want to be in a relationship with. You want to be with someone who likes YOU and won't see you differently over something like this.

mhm thanks for the reminder, i definitely need to remind myself that besides sexual stuff our relationship has been great. i guess i just need some time to figure out how to tell her bc even though idt shes judgy or mean about it, she was definitely pretty firm that she wanted a really good level of hygiene, and i think i also kinda need to work through a bit of self guilt at not being able to be as clean as she wants bc of my foreskin

also about getting circumcised, i need to work through how i feel about this one for sure, like i feel different about it every day. a lot of times i really want to get it done bc i hate my foreskin, but the thought of it is also really scary to me, and idk how to talk to my parents about getting it done either. also other times i really like having my foreskin, so yeah im just feeling super confused