Scarleteen

Self-care is something we advise people to utilize pretty frequently here at Scarleteen. But even though it's beneficial, many people still struggle with doing self-care. So, I thought we could have a place where people discuss what issues they find make self-care tricky, and any ways they've figured out how to make it more accessible to them.

For me, time is a big issue. I have a busy schedule, and some part of my brain resists the idea that any of that time should go to anything pleasant or "unnecessary." But I've started using things that relax me or make me happy in the little gaps I have between commitments, or in the mornings or evenings. I also find that broadening the definition of self-care helps me realize that many things I do already fall within that spectrum. And, in an odd way, thinking of things that I need to do anyway as self-care (like washing my face before bed) makes it easier for me to remember to do them.

I struggle with running out of spoons. As a college student, I have to go to class, socialize with friends, go to meals (and dealing with the loud, crowded dining hall usually costs more spoons than the food gives me), do homework, study, and somehow find time and spoons for self-care. It's very difficult - I take a lot of naps and they help most of the time, but then I end up with anxiety over homework or impending tests and that eats away at spoons I could use to, say, shower, or wash my face, or read a good book. Something I've found to help is to actively schedule a time for self-care in my schedule. If I think of it as a reward system, I can say 'If I study for an hour for [insert subject here], I'll treat myself to a nice shower!' or 'if I read and take notes on these chapters, I can read a fun book.' That is helpful, and it switches my mindset to 1) motivate me to do what's necessary, and 2) make self-care a positive thing. Of course, some days I think of self-care as eating an actual meal or remembering to carry a bottle of water everywhere with me, because I'm low on spoons. I've come to accept that those things are also self-care and some days I have to celebrate those because I don't have spoons for anything else.

(if you're wondering what I mean by 'spoons', check out the spoon theory! It's just a short google search away. )

fellow spoonie over here! I struggle with self care as well. I like the reward system, but my problem is bad habits make my rewards often not self care related, and self care needs to be rewarded with something else. For example, take a shower and then read a chapter of a book I like. Or meditate, then eat some chocolate. I find that especially when I am feeling depressed or anxious I want to do all my comforting things even though I know they are not really good for me.