Scarleteen

Hello. I’m 19, and my boyfriend (also 19) and I have been together for over two years. We’re both virgins, but we’ve felt ready to have sex for quite a while. We have tried a couple of times, but can’t seem to get his penis in my vagina. It will go in a little bit, but then feels like it just can’t go any farther, and if we try too hard to make it, it starts to feel really uncomfortable. He has tried fingering me, too, and gets farther in that way, but it still gets to a point where he can’t go any farther and it starts to get really uncomfortable, even burn or sting a little, if he tries too much. We thought maybe I just wasn’t relaxing enough, so I’ve been practicing with fingering myself at home. I’m definitely relaxed and lubricated enough, but can’t get farther than two inches in. I’m not super experienced with exploring down there, and I’ve never used tampons, but I’m pretty sure I’m going in at the right angle. I eventually get to what feels like a smaller opening, but it’s really tight. If I try to go through it too much it starts to burn a little. I feel like it wouldn’t be a good idea to force my way through. I have seen a medical condition mentioned on this site and others called vaginismus, and I think this could be my problem. I understand that this is when your pelvic floor muscles involuntarily tighten around your vaginal canal and prevent anything from entering, and that this could be caused by past trauma and your body is trying to protect itself. This would make sense in my case. When I was little I had a freak accident where I fell of my bike and a stick stabbed a hole in my vaginal wall. Do you agree that this sounds like it could be what’s wrong with me? Are there any other possible medical conditions or problems that would fit the bill? Should I continue to keep trying, or should I consult a medical professional before trying any further penetration? This is really frustrating, and I want to have sex and enjoy it very badly. My boyfriend is very patient and supportive, but I know he wants it badly, too. I’d really like to resolve this ASAP. Thanks.

Hi raynsworld,

Welcome to the boards!

The best way to rule out vaginismus or any other possible conditions is to consult a gynecologist. If you are feeling uncomfortable, you all can take a break and focus on other kinds of sex you like! If each time you all try penetration and it's not turning out the way you like, it can turn it into more of a stressful experience than a pleasurable one.

Your level of comfort can have a lot to do with ease if insertion. Pressure, frustration, and stress can cause the muscle to tense up! Think about a few of these things: Are you completely comfortable with the level of sexual activity since it newer? Are you more focused on making it happen than being in the moment with your partner? Are you putting a lot of pressure on yourself because it's been difficult in the past?

Arousal plays a role too. Try thinking about the way your body feels. Are you feeling excited or feeling more focused on insertion? Have you and your partner tried using a lubricant? It might make it more comfortable.

Check out this article as well: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advic ... hould_i_do

A few of the things I've already mentioned but it goes more in depth. Take a look and let me know if you have any questions about it.

Thank you!