Can't insert anything into vagina

[belosnezhka]

Hello scarleteen

I'm worried that there's something wrong with me.
I'm 22 and a virgin. I never inserted anything in my vagina. But I have a boyfriend now and after a lot of waiting we finally decided to loose our virginity together. But...when we tried, he just couldn't enter me, he kept pushing slowly, I felt a lot of pressure and his penis didn't enter at all. The pressure felt like it was going to tear my skin but it never did (i mean, "break" my hymen), so I got scared and asked him to stop.
Now I'm trying to insert a finger down there so I can get used to the feeling...but I found out I can't insert even a finger! I know that my hymen is intact but I also know I have a 'hole' there because I get my period normally and I can see it (and it's very very tiny), but when I try to stick a finger in there, it's like the opening is totally blocked, can't insert even the tip of my finger, and I'm afraid to force it too much. When my boyfriend tried to finger me he could insert like 1/3 of his finger and I felt a sharp pain and told him to stop.
What can I do to fix this problem? =(
Thank you.

(sorry, bad english)

[Johanna]

(Your English is perfectly fine! Don't worry.)

Have you ever been to see a gynecologist? If not, I suggest you start there. This way, you can rule out any potential physical issues. It is also just generally a good idea to get regular reproductive healthcare once you are sexually active.

I am also going to link you to an article that I think might be a good starting point for us to explore other possible solutions. Here you go: From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse

In the meantime, you and your partner can continue to experiment with that as long as you feel comfortable. But if you feel uncomfortable or are in pain, or you'd just rather not, that is totally alright. There is no pressure at all, and you can go at your own pace with this.

[belosnezhka]

I went to see a gynecologist the few times I thought I had some problem with my vagina, the last time it was because I had a discharge, and I was told it's normal and that my discharge changed a bit probably because of the birth control pill...She checked my vagina (no invasive exams), and she even spread it with her hands and commented that my hymen was intact. Do I need a pap smear even being a virgin?
I read the text, thank you. The only thing I can think of is that maybe I was nervous and not aroused enough...? I tried to relax, and everytime I try to finger myself I try masturbation first and then try to get relaxed...But it doesn't work. How can I learn to relax and get aroused enough? I'm very worried after I read about vaginismus...

[Johanna]

Since you are sexually active now, it would be a good idea to start getting annual pap smears, and also regular STI testing.

One thing I am wondering from what you said is how you led up to intercourse. Have you and your partner engaged in other sexual activities? Did you make sure you were relaxed, aroused and comfortable before you tried vaginal entry? Did you use lots of lube and go slowly?