Scarleteen

Hi. I'm a trans man. Kind of. However this year my dysphoria has gotten even worse. I didn't use to care abour masturbating before, didn't think too much about my genitals. I barely did it anyway, so I didn't care.

But now I just feel extremely distressed and grossed out about the fact that I have a hole between my legs. I feel like a walking sex toy, self lubricating kind. Like my body was built with the only purpose of getting fucked. I hate getting horny because my body lubricates and gets ready for penetration. I don't wanna be penetrated. I am a domtop and I would rather not have to deal with that. How do I stop thinking so negativetaly on my genitals? It causes me to get extremely depressed.

Welcome to the boards, Wingzgeek!

I'm sorry to hear that you've been feeling so dysphoric and depressed lately! We can definitely have a conversation about how you might handle these difficult feelings, and what might make them better.

Would to help to remind yourself that having certain body parts says nothing about what we should do with them? Arguably, I think the natural use for our body includes whatever is possible. The fact that you can and do enjoy sex in other ways makes topping an equally valid purpose for your body. Perhaps even more so, since it is what you actually want and that is what matters.

If I may ask, have you been feeling more pressure to have certain kinds of sex, or certain kinds of relationships? Do you feel more aware of your body because you've felt turned on more often this year?