to put it simply, i've never been able to cum. i've tried many different things—although penetration scares me a little too much to try, and i'm a top-inclined lesbian, so i don't plan on trying it with anyone else in the future—but nothing ever seems to help. the most satisfying thing i do is essentially palming and/or rubbing myself, but even then my arousal dies out after 30 sec to 1 min.
i recently bought myself a vibrator in hopes of having a little more success. i tried all of the modes, attempted various areas of interest, and even did some additional reading online for reviews on the product (which are incredibly positive)... but i found myself getting very bored. it feels nice, but not that nice, even on the highest vibrations. my vagina would just go numb after a few minutes, and i found myself thinking that even palming myself would be better.
as a result of this, i figure something must be wrong with me health wise. i'm very research-oriented when it comes to my bodily functions, but none of my research has ever been helpful to me. most websites just say "maybe you're not watching the right porn!" or "everyone is different, maybe you just haven't found the right spot yet!" but i know neither of these things are true. i've tried just about anything i'm comfortable with and i just can't do it.
i think i am somewhere on the asexual spectrum, but i'm still capable of feeling aroused (if that throbbing feeling i get is any indication) so it doesn't make any sense why i wouldn't be able to cum. at most, i get a little wet, but it's not enough to satisfy me.
i've never considered masturbating to be a particularly important aspect of my life, so i've spent all these years ignoring it, but after my failure with the vibrator i just feel hopeless. i can't imagine what my problem is, and i'm far too terrified to try anything with someone else before i've gotten at least a decent idea of how to solve it.
has anyone else had this problem, and/or would anyone happen to have any advice on how to go about it? like i said, this isn't a huge part of my life, but it's really frustrating and makes me feel isolated from my peers.
sorry this came out so wordy
i've been bottling it up for a long time. thank you for reading, as well as any ideas you may have!and one last note since i saw a similar post before this:
- i have tried touching my other erogenous zones, but i don't really feel anything doing that.
- i'm never particularly stressed or tired when i do this.
- and my objective is never the orgasm, so i don't think it's because i'm worrying too much about it, but i do sometimes get irritated when it doesn't happen. often i'll just reach a "peak" before the arousal dissipates completely. it's been this way since i first experimented at a much younger age.
hopefully this is enough info!