Sensation only at the base of my penis

[AllyChaseBofa]

When I have sex with my latest girlfriend all I feel is like pressure at the base of my penis and not much sensation in the rest of the penis especially nothing at the tip which is where I am most sensitive. Hence I am taking a very long time to come more than 30 minutes. I am wearing a condom and we are still not at the stage where she is comfortable taking it off. Is this specific to my girlfriend or is it that my penis is becoming desentisied?

[Sofi]

Hi there, welcome back to the boards.

It sounds like this could be a similar issue to the one from last time you posted here. My answer is similar to last time’s, but I want to ask, have you tried other types of sex aside from PIV sex in order to finish - I ask because a lot of men don’t realize sex isn’t linear; it doesn’t need to go from what’s considered “foreplay” (which is just sex) to insertive sex and then you finish. You can do that in the middle, if you both enjoy it, and then move on to other types of sex that will help you both get the most pleasure. Sticking to one type of sex for over 30 mins just trying to orgasm isn’t really too enjoyable and can ruin the experience.

Two things I’ll suggest, aside from what was suggested in your last post: take a break from masturbating, if you’re still doing so, and take orgasm off the table for now. When you have sex with your girlfriend just be in it for the experience - the connection, her pleasure, and yours. Have fun with it and communicate with each other a lot, but don’t have orgasm as an end goal. Taking pressure off that can help, along with switching up what you’re doing to find what feels good to both of you. Does that make sense?

[AllyChaseBofa]

Yes taking a break from masturbation definitely makes my sex life better. But what do I do when I don't have a girlfriend. Should I purchase a sex toy as realistic as a woman's vagina so that the problem doesn't return?

[char]

Hi AllyChaseBofa! It's good to hear that your sex life has improved after taking a break from masturbation. During the break, has there been anything you've learned about yourself that would be helpful in improving your sex life?

About the sex toy--I feel like it is ultimately up to you to make the decision. While it can be helpful to get a sex toy that's shaped like the vulva and vagina, it's worth noting that the sensation you feel from the toy and and a real vagina is going to be very different, since the toy doesn't self-lubricate and is typically made out of rubber or silicone. Not to mention that every person with a vagina is different--not just from how their genitals look (a vulva-shaped sex toy often only comes out in a certain shape and size and definitely doesn't represent the wide diversity of the vulva in humans), but also the kinds of touches, movements, and other actions that they enjoy. Ultimately, it's important that you and your partner (whenever you have another partnered sex) are constantly communicating your needs and preferences before, during, and after sex. In the meantime, I highly recommend checking out these articles from our site:
- Innies & Outies: The Vagina, Clitoris, Uterus and More
- With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body
- Be a Blabbermouth! The Whys, Whats and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner

How does this information make you feel?