Scarleteen

Hello everyone.

I am asexual and I have no idea what sexual attraction feels like or how to express sexual attraction. I've have an image in my mind of what it's like, but I would like to hear from other people about their experiences with sexual attraction. I want someone to describe to me what sexual attraction is in a way that I can understand. If this makes sense. Thank you in advance for your responses.

Hi there, Lunita!

Both based on my own experiences with it and based in what I have heard people say in the almost 30 years I have worked in this field, I'd describe attraction for myself and many as feeling like a strong (sexual) curiosity. If you can think of how maybe there has been something non-sexual you have really, really wanted to know about, that you'd love to go into a rabbit hole with, that might be a good route to understanding how this can feel.

Of course, the flavor of our sexual attraction to people also will vary from person to person, or based on the differences in the energy between us and one person versus another. For instance, sometimes attraction might feel more like a hunger than a curiosity, or more like a kind of paying attention it's hard for us to turn away from. For others still, or at different times, they may experience attraction less as something between them and someone else, or as less about the other person, and more about sexual feelings someone stirs up in themselves.