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can’t feel pleasure?

Posted: Sat Dec 27, 2025 5:02 pm
by roxane00
I’ve been worrying a lot lately, I just got in my first relationship and i’m 18. I know there’s nothing wrong with it. The thing is that I used to be overweight, I always thought that my vagina wasn’t the right way because i’ve never saw one like mine. I just think that’s the weight that make it look like that. I’ve lost all the weight, i’m in a great health spot. But it’s still like before, it feels like my hole isn’t at the right place. And i can’t find myself having pleasure while i put my fingers in me, or when i put like my hairbrush in me, nothing. I’m scared that i won’t feel anything with him.

Re: can’t feel pleasure?

Posted: Sat Dec 27, 2025 5:35 pm
by lilikoi
Hi roxane00! Welcome to the boards.

Your question is a common one that we get! To start off, the amount of stimulation you feel is not impacted by your weight. More likely, there are many people who notice that they do not feel much sensation internally. The more likely place to notice pleasure is on the clitoris which is located externally at the top of the vulva between the labia. We have an article with some illustrations that give a general explanation of the anatomy.

Innies & Outies: The Vagina, Clitoris, Uterus and More

That being said, even more important than your genitals for stimulation is your brain. You would be surprised the amount of power that anxiety and discomfort can have on sexual pleasure. With that in mind, it is a good rule of thumb to focus on relaxation and comfort if your goal is to feel pleasure. When that is taken care of, you can experiment with sensation on your body and see what feels good for you! Every body is unique so, while we can offer some general education, the best teacher for what works (and what doesn't) is gonna be you!

Have a look at that article and let us know if you have any more questions that we can answer.