Scarleteen

I'm very concerned about contraception and I wanted to use the buddy system mentioned on this site, but as a Nuvaring user the only combinable options are condoms or withdrawal. I know according to package directions, the Nuvaring can be used with spermicide but I find it irritating. My personal history: Healthy lady in my mid twenties. I'm in a loving, committed monogamous relationship with a male partner who is routinely tested for STDs (thank the Navy for that). I've never had any other sexual partners.

I've been using my Nuvaring as 'perfect' as possible for about 5 months (was on the pill before but was not sexually active at that time). I have read all the literature including the sheet that is given to doctors. I set recurring alarms to remove the ring on Sundays around 10 am. I then only leave it out for 6 days, then replace it on Saturday morning and leave it in (never ever removed) for 22 days until the next removal Sunday. According to all the clinical paperwork you can safely shorten the 'break period' and lengthen the 'use' period as long as it is in for a minimum of 21 days, and out no more than 7. I even heard somewhere efficacy could be increased by shortening the removal time to four days but could not find an actual study stating this.

I'm one of those people who is very anxious about pregnancy. My boyfriend and I are talking about getting married soon (we've been together two years) and I really want to put off having children for about 5 more years. I'm one of those who was constantly afraid I was pregnant even though I've always been on hormonal birth control and was not even having PIV sex until very recently. I worry all the time, even though I know I use my Nuvaring with care and take no medications that could interact with it.

In a effort to find a secondary backup method I read this study:

https://www.scsadiagnostics.com/uploads ... icants.pdf

I am wondering if lubricants in combination with the Nuvaring could increase efficacy and if so realistically, by how much. I do not want to use condoms, and although we occasionally use withdrawal I'd like to have the most uninterrupted natural experience. Am I being crazy always worrying about being pregnant? Is there any secondary method that works well with the Nuvaring - like a natural spermicide? I know Contragel is one but it is hard to come by in the US and is really designed for use with a cervical cap - there is no info on its effectiveness alone as they don't recommend that so I can't figure out who to ask about it when used in conjunction with hormonal birth control.

I wouldn't rely on lubricant as an effective second method. There is evidence from the study you found as well as others that some lubricants may affect sperm motility, but lube is not intended, nor has it been tested, as a method of contraception.

Honestly, condoms or withdrawal are the best options when looking for a method to back up hormonal birth control. Can I ask what it is about condoms you don't like?

If you want, too, we can talk about why you might be so concerned about pregnancy, even though you're using a very reliable and effective method of birth control. Sometimes other anxieties about sex or relationships can surface as pregnancy worries - might that be a possibility?

Thank you, Karen.

I do understand it is untested, and that is why we have continued to try withdrawal and spermicide. I suppose I don't like condoms simply because I like the direct intimacy. I'm actually very new to this sexual journey and haven't even used them before since he has been my only partner and we were together almost two years when we began PIV sex (though I know how to use them and have some nearby just in case). My boyfriend is not particularly adverse to them and per our discussion will use any secondary method that makes me feel secure.

Relationship wise we are very happy, and have discussed what we will do if I do become pregnant and are comfortable and communicative about these matters. We are both mature, financially and geographically very stable, and, I believe, would be perfectly capable of caring for and loving child, so it's nothing like that. I think my deepest anxiety/concern would be that fact that it would shame my family - more that they would not approve of me being unmarried and getting pregnant. I'm very close with my family, and disappointing people is harder for me than outright angering them. They've always said they would support me if it did happen so I have no idea why I'm so crazy about it (I'm an independent adult for goodness sakes). Likewise, I am feeling so happy with where I am in my career and relationship, I worry that an unexpected child would possibly derail many of the plans we have as a couple.

I think the truth is I'm just a very anxious, perfectionist when it comes to certain things. I can be adventurous and free about much of my life, but I can be a bit of a hypochondriac and often stress myself out about nothing. Perhaps in time I will learn to trust the Nuvaring more but I suppose my sexual life is the one place where I still feel immature and it is just helpful to voice my concerns and consider all available options.

Hi minka,

I'm glad you and your partner have been talking about this openly, that's always good to hear

I would say that, if you're looking for ways to feel more secure in your birth control, that it's time to experiment with condoms, as they are (when used correctly) very effective (and even though being each others first partner makes STIs pretty unlikely, it does not make them impossible). And, there are lots of different types out there, so you'll likely be able to find one that you and your partner both enjoy using (you may also want to consider the internal aka female condom, as some folks find they enjoy that more than a standard condom). You can check out more info here:

All the Barriers! All the Time!
Your Map to the Condom Aisle

Too, since condoms -- just like your ring, a medication, or anything else placed on or within the body as a part of healthcare -- don't actually take intimacy away (intimacy is emotional, after all), if you think you'd feel best about using condoms, but feel like you can't shake the idea they somehow limit intimacy, we're certainly happy to talk with you about that and help you start thinking differently.