Old friendship and new crush???

[whitebored]

Hii
So, the situation is a bit complicated. In November I’ve just come out of a kind of toxic (at least from my point of view?) friendship. This friendship was consuming me, and when I decided to end it I felt that I was the bad one. So, since then I’ve spent a couple of the lunch breaks alone, reading a book. And just like maybe 2 or 3 weeks before Christmas break, there is a new girl in my year, I’m gonna call her A. Normally I’m not a social person, but for some reason I managed to talk to her and we became sort of friends???

Here comes the problem, I think I might have developed a crush on her??? I’m a girl too, we are both 17. And there is where I discovered that I might be bisexual. My main worries are:
1. I’m using A as some coping mechanism, and that my feelings towards her might be just some after effects of my recent break up with my old friend. I really don’t want anyone being hurt because of me and my past problems.
2. Can a toxic friendship be one sided? Like with my old friend, could I be the only one who was being consumed by this friendship which from my perspective was being toxic, but from the other person’s perspective is not?
3. Also, I’m quite confused about my sexuality, I figured I might be bisexual, but I’m not sure. Is there anyway figure this out?
All these changes in my life just happened so quickly (ended an old friendship, made a new friend (maybe??), found out that I might be bisexual…), and I’m feeling overwhelmed and don’t know what to do.
I hope all this makes sense, any advice would be great, thank you

[amber]

Hi whitebored!

Firstly I think you need to trust your gut, you left a friendship for a reason and if you describe it as toxic I can assume it was making you more stressed than fulfilled. You are allowed to leave relationships that you don't want to be in. You are also allowed to make new friends after.

You also mention "past problems" and I am wondering how making a new friend (and maybe having a crush on her) is connected to this past relationship. Could it be possible that you just happened to meet someone new around the time you stopped talking to someone else?

As for your questions on sexuality, that is a very common but complicated question. No one can 'tell you' your sexuality but yourself. Still it may be helpful to look back on your feelings about girls as well as boys. Have you had crushes in the past? What have they felt like to you and how have they been different to what you're feeling now?