Scarleteen

I've been fighting myself over this for a while -- I'm not sure if I should open up to my partner about my kinks.

For more background information, we are both minors (same age), and have never had sex. I'm scared to ask, and even more scared at the thought of mentioning my kinks/sexual interests to them.

They've never expressed a desire to have sex at all, which makes me nervous. I don't know if I should mention it or not, I'm not sure if the topic is uncomfortable at all for them.

I don't want to make my partner uncomfortable, and I want to go about this in a mature way when talking to them about this. I also want to be able to open up about my kinks and desires- I trust them to be understanding and willing, it's just embarrassing to say out loud.

Any help?

Hello Rockloverluka! We'd be happy to help with this question!

I understand how it would feel intimidating to talk to your partner about your sexual interests, especially if the topic hasn't come up much, if at all, before. Since you're not sure how comfortable they are with the topic, I wonder if it might be a good idea to start there. What would you think of asking them if you two can talk about sex, in general? You might tell them that any answers are okay, and that you are just curious about how they feel.

I'm thinking that this could give you the opportunity to back off if they seem too uncomfortable, and if they are open to chat, hearing them talk about their thoughts and interests should open a space for you to talk about yours. That way, this conversation would be about the two of you learning about and supporting each other, rather than you confessing something sensitive and waiting on their reaction.