no withdrawal bleed (yet?)

[mimicupcake4548]

hi!! im currently on eloine and have been since 19 november, during the first pack, i had really heavy breakthrough bleeding all the way to my placebo pills, but now im on my second pack of pills and day 2 out of 4 on the placebo ones i still havent gotten my bleed?? im a virgin however on 31 dec i sat on my boyfriends dick after giving him a blowjob (no penetration, ejaculation or near the tip) if my bleed hasnt come by the end of the four pills do i consider taking a test and would this thursday coming up be an accurate result?? many thanks

[Tara]

Hi, there:

Yes, you can take a test this Thursday. It is usually recommended to take a test after the first day of a missed period for the most accurate result. Based on the situation you describe, there was not a moderate risk for pregnancy.

[mimicupcake4548]

Okay thanks! I just wasnt sure as nhs says to wait 21 days if its an unprotected encounter. However i think as the risk for my situation is basically negligible, I shouldnt worry about test timing??

[Tara]

I would agree with that logic since you will likely test negative either way. : )

[mimicupcake4548]

Is it common for withdrawal bleeds to be missing when your first starting off the pill?

[KierC]

Hi Mimi!

It is normal to experience some abnormal bleeding when you’re starting off on the pill, but the important part here is that you haven’t done anything that poses a risk to pregnancy. So, you can be sure this is unrelated to pregnancy. How does hearing that make you feel?

[mimicupcake4548]

Hi KierC!!! Thank you for clarifying that there is no risk for this however is it okay if you could explain how?? Im just unsure although previous staff members have clarified that it has to be intercourse or rubbing, im just confused as it classes as direct genital on genital contact, is it because he didnt ejaculate, im on the pill etc. ?? Also do you think I should take a test, as I cant remember if this encounter was on the 31 or even beforehand.

[Becky]

Hi mimicupcake!

Technically you are correct that you and your boyfriend's genitals came into contact but as you correctly identified there was no ejaculation and you are on hormonal birth control. Especially considering he did not insert his penis into your vagina, there would be no way for any semen to get inside of you even if there was any.

You're always welcome to take a pregnancy test if that would help alleviate any anxiety you are having but based on the information you have provided your lack of withdrawal bleeding is not from pregnancy.

It sounds like you're only on your second pack of pills, correct? Sometimes when just starting out with birth control it can take a few months for our bodies to adjust and everything to return to "normal." Some people don't experience any bleeding on their placebo week at all or sometimes just very minor spotting. How were your periods before you started on the pill?

[Heather]

(I also want to add that if and when you start a hormonal method mid-cycle, instead of timed carefully with an existing period, it is very common for it to take a couple of months for withdrawal bleeds to sync up or happen at all!)

[mimicupcake4548]

Yes I do plan on taking a test as even though i know my situation poses no risk i still get a lot of what ifs in my brain which is confusing as now its making me re think if the date it even happened is correct so im not sure if it will be too early even though it will be negative either way. I think i mightve accidentally started the day before my period as it was very very light. Yes im on my second pack of pills, and the adjustment period is really nerve wracking however I have my check up on the 19th and should I mention that ive had no withdrawal bleed + bled for the entire first month on the pill?

[Heather]

By all means, I'd mention those things, even though they might tell you that if you had flow or spotting that whole month, that's likely why you didn't have a withdrawal bleed. For a withdrawal bleed to happen, there has to be some lining to shed, and if you were having flow throughout, there likely won't be any.

May I make a suggestion? This and your other posts make clear that you are very fearful about pregnancy. Dual contraception -- using two methods instead of one -- is the most effective way to prevent pregnancy. How about you ask your partner to take his own responsibility like you are with the pill and get some condoms to use if and when you two are having any kind of genital contact? That way, you both get to do something to prevent pregnancy, you'll be doing what is most effective to prevent it, your partner will also get to do his own part, and, hopefully, you will be able to be more at ease about all of this. <3

[mimicupcake4548]

Yeah im honestly terrified of it thats why i refuse to do actual intercourse until we are both ready and this genital contact has only been the once and it was more on accident really like i didnt mean to place my vagina on it it was just more comfortable than hovering. We mah get some condoms in the future as we continue to explore what we like in our relationship however for now i think continuing forward we will keep our underwear on, thank you to you and your team so much for being so kind and understanding its really helped a lot <3

[mimicupcake4548]

Okay so im pretty sure its started by now as ive got some blood in my discharge, is that a good sign its my withdrawal bleed kicking in?

[HannahP]

Hi Mimicupcake! It sounds like your birth control is working just fine. Are you feeling any less anxious about it today?

[mimicupcake4548]

No my anxiety seems to have gotten worse and i dont think it was on december 31 now and more like jan 5 so im scared im going to take a test too early im just overthinking it over and over again i just want to cry

[HannahP]

I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time! I know how it feels to be caught in an anxiety spiral like that.

When you're overthinking and spiraling, you can get stuck in a bit of a trap, where even though you're trying to reassure yourself, any information about the thing that you're anxious about just makes you feel even more anxious. Do you ever feel this anxious about other topics? Do you have any tools or methods for comforting yourself when you feel anxious about other things?

I think that reading and thinking about pregnancy tests is making you feel worse. As you said above, a part of you knows that you're not pregnant and that it doesn't matter when you take a pregnancy text, because it's going to be negative. I know it's hard to believe that part when you feel so anxious, though! What do you think about taking a break from the internet for 24 hours and finding your most comforting and distracting things to do instead? What kinds of things do you find distracting? Do you have a favorite TV show or video game or book or hobby?

[mimicupcake4548]

I think whats making me anxious is trying to know whether its too early to test or not. I might go see my boyfriend and honestly just cry it out as thats what helps me the most.

[HannahP]

I totally get how a good cry can help you feel better! Keep in mind that you know that you are not at risk for pregnancy. Your anxiety is trying to convince you that whether its too early to test or not is a big deal, but it doesn't matter if you can't remember the exact day this happened, because you're just simply not at risk of pregnancy. That's why I think trying to distract yourself from this spiral is a good idea.

[mimicupcake4548]

Im trying to but its so hard, i dont know anything that will distract me

[Heather]

When you are not worrying or posting about this, mimi, what are some of your favorite ways to spend your time? I'd look to those things as things to focus on instead.

I would also stop yourself from posting more here about this. That's less about bothering us and more about not doing things that keep you focused on this. Posting about this here keeps you focused on it. <3

[mimicupcake4548]

I like sleeping (a bit silly but oh well) however i feel like if i do it before i sleep it messed up my schedule but i also like watching netflix and stuff like that

[Heather]

Okay, so how about you find something new to binge or an old favorite?

[mimicupcake4548]

that sounds like a good idea!