scared

[confusedteen198]

HI im back i was confused_teen but i couldnt remember my password so i just created a new account sorry if that was wrong of me to do. I met this guy in a mental hospital and he wants to send me all this money and jewlery shoes and much more i want the stuff but I feel like I have to be with him in order to accept the things he is showering me with. I dont like this guy more than a friend and he is starting to creep me out. I dont know what to do anymore he says he doesnt want sex or anything

[Sam W]

Hi confusedteen,

If this person is making you feel creeped out or otherwise uncomfortable with their attention, I would advise to find a way to either scale back or cut off contact with them completely. Is that something you feel you can do easily?

[confusedteen198]

Yes to the first question and no I can't easily cut back contact

[Sam W]

Okay, so let's start with why you feel cutting back contact won't be easy, and work from there. What do you see as the barriers to cutting them off?

[confusedteen198]

He won't leave me alone he constantly texts and calls me I don't want to change my number and can't block his

[Keda]

One thing you can do is to stop answering the calls or responding to the texts. Have you tried that already?

And have you asked him to stop calling/texting you? Of course, you know better than I do how he'd be likely to react to that, so if you're worried, by all means talk about your worries before making a decision. But asking him to stop will be great if he agrees; and if he refuses, then you'll know that he's not respecting you and that your mental alarm bells are right.

Is the reason why you can't block his number something to do with your phone company? Most old feature phones have the ability to block numbers in the settings; iPhones can also do that, though unfortunately to do it on Android you have to download an app.

[confusedteen198]

I have straight talk so it's like a track phone. And no I'm too scared to ask him to stop.

[Heather]

So, sounds like it is time to ask someone in your life for help, then. Do you live with your family? If so, who can you tell and ask there?

[confusedteen198]

Yes I live with my family but I'm scared to tell my family like my mom and dad. I don't want to get into trouble. I'm sorry for posting on here.

[Heather]

You know, in situations like this, sometimes there are not any great choices, and it is just figuring out which is the best of the choices you have.

But if you feel afraid for your safety, I would advise you just tell someone in your family. I do not understand why you would be in trouble here for anything, but even if that turns out to be so, being in a little bit of trouble with people who love you and will not harm you tends to be a lot better than being stalked and in danger.

[confusedteen198]

Ya that's true but he lives like three hours away from me so that's good. He is wanting me to be his girl. Part of me said yes to get free stuff and money but that sounds bad of me doesn't it.

[Sam W]

Hi confusedteen,

We're not here to judge on that front. I want to reiterate what Heather said about talking to your family about what's happening, both because they can support you emotionally, but also because they might be able to help you find concrete ways cut contact with this guy.

[confusedteen198]

ok I will try and talk to my family about this situation. Thanks for the help.

[Heather]

Have you been able to do that yet, confusedteen? If not, happy to help you figure out how to bring this up and ask for this help from your family.

[confusedteen198]

no i havnt been able to bring it up id be open for suggstions,

[Ashleah]

Hi Confusedteen,

You know your parents the best! Keep that in mind when you are telling them the situation. If you think it will make it easier to talk, you can tell them separately or just tell whoever you feel will be the most supportive. Let them know that this person is making you uncomfortable and scared because of their actions. You can let them know specifically that they have been calling you constantly and pressuring you for a relationship. Be honest, let them know you aren't sure how to handle the situation but would like it to stop or for communication to slow down. it's up to you how specific you want to be but the more info they have about the person's actions the more they can help you figure out the best way to handle the situation.

One suggestion I have seen before is "blaming" not being able to see or talk to a person on your parents. Something like "my parents don't really want me talking to anyone right now." It might feel uncomfortable, but your safety is most important. This is also something specific that you can get your parents support on.