Scarleteen

I'm 19 and I just don't feel any pleasure when I mastrubate in a traditional way. I've tried fingering myself and other things, but it never feels good.

Sometimes when I rub myself in a certain way over my jeans it feels good, but never good enough to orgasm. If I do the same stuff, but without any clothes on I feel nothing.

I've tried using this suction toy on my clitoris and it felt good for like 30 seconds, but then I moved it and it went back to feeling like nothing. Maybe I'm doing something wrong?

I'm worried about this and also worried that if I was having sex with a guy or during foreplay I would just feel nothing. I definitely feel horny, but little to no pleasure when I act on it.

Is something wrong?

Hi Cloudcovered,

We actually get this exact question a lot, which is good news because it means this is common and there's most likely nothing wrong at all.

You're also not doing anything wrong, considering there's no wrong (or right) way to masturbate. As long as you're not in pain or discomfort, you can do whatever in any way and as long as it feels good, it's perfectly okay. I want you to keep that in mind when you're masturbating, because that will take a lot of pressure off you to "do it the right way".

You say you feel aroused going into it, but are you still feeling aroused while it's happening? I ask because this is often the answer to why people aren't feeling much - they're not really fully aroused before they start, and/or get turned off by the pressure they're putting on themselves during and it kills the vibe. It's good to remember that pleasure starts in the brain, so if you're not feeling mentally relaxed and are instead worrying, stressed, etc... it's way less likely you'll feel pleasure.

I do see you mentioned you found a way that felt good, but "not good enough to orgasm". This is great that you found something that gives you pleasure! The wording also tells me you're adding the pressure of orgasm to the equation, which as I explained, makes masturbation harder to enjoy. How come you feel like you have to orgasm for it to be successful? Could you perhaps try to do the over the jeans method without trying to achieve anything, just to enjoy the experience, and see how that goes?