Scarleteen

I’m a trans guy who wants to try masturbating, but my dysphoria goes insane and all the research I’ve found is just buy sex toys, which I can’t. Any ideas? Also not sure if this is the right catagory.

Hi boxofcereal, you're in the right place. I totally get this. Figuring out masturbation while trans can be all kinds of confusing. (Honestly, figuring out masturbation can be confusing for a lot of folks, but we've got it extra fun when it comes with *bonus* dysphoria.)

On the sex toy front, you might consider talking to a parent or other trusted adult if they tend to be a safe space for discussing your gender or sexuality. If you can think of someone who might be, we can help you find words for that conversation.

If toys end up staying off the table for you in the short term, don't despair. They are not a perfect solution either. There are toys designed with trans men in mind, but many of them work best for someone on T and/or who has had bottom surgery. The good news is that a lot of "suction" or "air pulse" toys can serve similar purposes for someone who either can't access or is unsure they want to pursue those medical interventions. (It can also help to stick with toys designed for external stimulation in general, rather than something designed for insertion.)

Okay, with that out of the way, let's talk about what you can do in the short-term no matter what:

1. Figure out where the dysphoria is stemming from. Is appearance, touch, or both that tend to set it off?

2. Stick with external stimulation, as most folks can orgasm without insertion. If you're having trouble orgasming unrelated to dysphoria, we can talk about that, too.

3. Use your brain. A lot of trans folks find that masturbation becomes more comfortable when they see it as space to explore gender fantasies that might otherwise feel out of reach.

Does any of that resonate with you?

Try doing it in a bubble bath so you don't have to see your body IF that is what makes you uncomfortable about it. Emotionally prepare beforehand, tell yourself that it is just a body, it is your body, and your body doesn't define you. Try looking up sex ed courses before if you haven't yet so you can understand your anatomy more clearly. Just do what feels good to you, you got this! I'm also trans these are just things that have helped me idk if they will for you.