Scarleteen

I don't know. I like being alive and I enjoy life for the little things. I love going on little quests and errands throughout the day and discovering new things around my campus but then I come back home or even just in general I am so numb to everything. I dont really feel particular about anything.
I used to be much happier as a child, more excited for events and parties, but now those days could just be regular days for all I care because it feels the same. Everything sort of blends together and all I can hope is to have some memorable happy moments in-between. I dont know if this is a weird issue of mine ir what
I feel like caring about the world has gotten so hard. I wish I cared more about events, I wish I cared more about the world outside so im not continuously drowning inside a computer all day but who am I to say. I lost the ability to give a damn about anything tangible that isnt either hobbies or little quests.
I really love life for what it has to offer but every day I struggle to really do things. I feel so... I dunno if depressed fits because one of the symptoms is losing interest in your hobbies but that hasn't happened. I love my hobbies, one of the few dopamine creators I have. I love to draw a good drawing or write or other stuff. If I didnt have my hobbies id be stuck.
I already sort of am, and have been for a while.
Im not a damger to myself or others, I just don't know what to do with this numbness that keeps growing year by year

I wouldnt even know where to start in order for me to start being more excited about life again.
I domt know. Whatever .

Hmmm, losing interest in your hobbies is one of the symptoms of depression, but not the only one. And we don't need to wait for that to happen before we can recognize that life isn't feeling that good for your right now, and that you need some kind of support/something to change. This isn't too weird to talk about, and I'm glad you reached out about it, Insert_username. I don't know that we could tell you what exactly you should do to stop feeling this way, but we can talk and see if we can think of some paths forward.

In your memory, what did it feel like to go to events and parties when you were younger? What did life feel like day-to-day? How is that different from how you feel these days?

I should say that our expertise isn't mental health--regularly talking to a specialist might make it easier to identify what needs to change for you to feel more excited about life. Have you ever considered seeking that kind of support? We can advise on the process of finding a therapist, if you'd like.