Scarleteen

Hi - well, I get real tired of being drooled over by guys who apparently can't stop staring at my breasts. It gets me a bit pissed off.

I have very small breasts, but I've been blessed/cursed with puffy areolas topped with big, ridiculously protuberant nipples.

I hate wearing a bra (ha, I take after my mom that way), and the rubbery things that you stick over your nips always fall off or end up stuck somewhere on my stomach.

I guess I have to put up with the unwanted attention, the things are just too prominent.

Any suggestions?

Hey fudnuk,

Bodies and self-image can be so complicated, that much is true. You're like given this form from birth that you're just supposed to have forever and learn how to adapt to as it changes over time, and especially with popular media, patriarchy, and misogyny rampant in many global cultures It can be really hard to know how to tolerate, accept, or even enjoy the ebody you have.

We have this article, Abreast: A Basics of Boobies, that I do think you should check out as it more broadly attends to some of the things you bring up here, but specifically, let's see what we can do about navigating your situation.

I know that you mentioned disliking wearing bras, and as a "free the nipple" type individual myself, I can relate to not liking the expectation, discomfort, and "protection" over something only sexualized due to the construction of gender. That being said, there really is now a large range of types of bras, some made unisex for and by queer people, and many made by women to adapt to the shape of your body as it is, not conform it to somehting it is not. Have you looked into alternatives like this or styles that feel more comfortable like bralettes or sports bras?

And if you decide no-bra is the way to go (which you have all the right and freedom to do), I can recommend using a tank top instead of a bra under a shirt, or maybe just trying to focus on identifying and wearing tops that just make you feel good overall! Potentially just as a reminder that nipples are not the be-all-end-all of sexiness, something that your, and everybody's body already is, and may just take a different perspective to see.

On the point about being looked at or "drooled over" by men just for existing, this one I think is the hardest. Because there is only so much we can do at any one time, and the reality is that we exist in sexist, patriarchical systems that will not change over night. It's incredibly frustrating and absolutely upsetting, so I'm here with you in that. Do you want to talk about it a bit more to just help process any feelings that may be coming up?

Anya, thanks for answering. Yeah so I have my Skins t-shirt bras for when I don't feel like being ogled - and as far as tank tops, to obscure these nipples of mine I think I'd need to layer 4 or 5 of them, lol.

It's not that big of an issue, it was more a rant, and really, I get as many disapproving looks from women as I get leers from men, but then again, I am after all in North Carolina. I'm in Sarasota FL a lot, and the women there seem like they couldn't care less.

Other than a certain contingent of dopey people, I really like my titties and think they're very sexy.

I'm glad you get to enjoy them and still, even with the whole annoying outside world telling us to think one way or another about our bodies, you are able to be present with yourself just as you are. It's one of the hardest things in this life I think, to be accepting and even loving/compassionate towards your body so i'm so happy to hear this. You're doing so great!

Like you said, especially when we spend time in different places with different attitudes it can really shape so much of our own experience. Feel free to rant as much as you like, and use this space however feel best for you. We're here to listen